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day and night
while the days on this vacation have been, well wondrous to say the least, my nights have been a completely different story.
the nightmares are sapping my energy in a very weird way. i wake up from sleep feeling exactly as tired as when i got into bed, and sometimes more so. i'm not sure why i'm nightmaring all of a sudden. sleeping in the first room that i remember, surrounded by the same view, and many of the same books is not a situation that i would have thought conducive to nightmares.
i also had the strange sensation yesterday of wanting to be home. and i thought, but i AM home. weird. i've never felt that way about that silly little town before. and now i realise, it is not so much about the town, but about my apartment, and let's be frank, knowing that d. is not far away, and i can be snuggled and loved basically whenever i choose. i guess there's some advantage in feeling that home is another person rather than a place. if nothing else people are a tad more portable.
this is not to say that i will not miss the city with an undying passion when i leave on tuesday morning. the city itself and the people i leave here. i saw Lady Sykii yesterday, and we had an absolutely gorgeous time. wine, and fantabulous food provided by her mom, (who hugged me and told me she loved me...a glow-worthy moment, it's been a while...) and lots & lots of giggles.
we went downtown to see the Towers of Light, and i thought that they were beautiful, shining on misty wisps of cloud, taller by far than the actual towers ever were. i almost wish we could just leave them there instead of rebuilding what i am certain will just be another monument to capitalism and the ugliness that is America these days.
finishing up the evening with lemon flavored apple tart, and hot apple cider was perfect. yum.
it's cold now though, and raining. my bones feel chilled through. i can't wait for spring.
the nightmares are sapping my energy in a very weird way. i wake up from sleep feeling exactly as tired as when i got into bed, and sometimes more so. i'm not sure why i'm nightmaring all of a sudden. sleeping in the first room that i remember, surrounded by the same view, and many of the same books is not a situation that i would have thought conducive to nightmares.
i also had the strange sensation yesterday of wanting to be home. and i thought, but i AM home. weird. i've never felt that way about that silly little town before. and now i realise, it is not so much about the town, but about my apartment, and let's be frank, knowing that d. is not far away, and i can be snuggled and loved basically whenever i choose. i guess there's some advantage in feeling that home is another person rather than a place. if nothing else people are a tad more portable.
this is not to say that i will not miss the city with an undying passion when i leave on tuesday morning. the city itself and the people i leave here. i saw Lady Sykii yesterday, and we had an absolutely gorgeous time. wine, and fantabulous food provided by her mom, (who hugged me and told me she loved me...a glow-worthy moment, it's been a while...) and lots & lots of giggles.
we went downtown to see the Towers of Light, and i thought that they were beautiful, shining on misty wisps of cloud, taller by far than the actual towers ever were. i almost wish we could just leave them there instead of rebuilding what i am certain will just be another monument to capitalism and the ugliness that is America these days.
finishing up the evening with lemon flavored apple tart, and hot apple cider was perfect. yum.
it's cold now though, and raining. my bones feel chilled through. i can't wait for spring.