kali

the previous entry notwithstanding, my weekend was actually chock full of Sunshine. i've never seen weather like this here. it was warm and blue and we spent much time outside, soaking it all up. there were jacket-less people wandering the streets, and lots of laughter and sandals and skirts.

actually the sun is currently shining into my office window, and pooling on the windowsill. for once, i'm actually quite looking forward to the walk home. (of course now that i said that, it'll probably rain.) in passing, i'd like to note that it's really weird that i have an office. and a desk. i quite hate my job, (worthy though water resources and environmental protection are, it's hard to enjoy being an office bitch) but i often regard my office with a certain sense of glee and self importance.
and loathing.
so i doubt the other ones will ever get ahead of me. i'll probably be a slacker forever.

this morning, i took the bus to class. i've bought this buspass that allows me to ride all i want for $75 and i'm determined to make as much use out of it as possible, even on beautiful days like today. at any rate, on the bus this morning i had this weird sense of nostalgia. it smelled like a city bus, and the air rushing into the windows almost tasted of a city spring morning. i remembered so many busrides across central park, and the weight of the bag on my shoulder. it felt as if i'd shed all the changes that have come upon me since then, and i'd fallen back to that little onion seed that i used to be a long time ago.

i like the flavor of this unexpected false spring. i like the way it has tripped us up, made things unpredictable. it's quite dangerous really, the trees will begin to bud soon, if this keeps up, and winter may all of sudden roar back with a kick in the teeth. still i like it, and this afternoon, solaced by the measured marches of jane austen, and anticipating a dive into arthurian legend, i walked over the grassy hills by the physics hall, and listened to the bells chime pachelbel's canon in d over the campus.

rubbing my feet in the thawed mud, i stood out there and listened. it may be a poor taste to like that song. overplayed, they say. cliched. i listen to it, and i wonder how i would feel if i could create something so inherently beautiful that it would leave me speechless and humming.

as far as i can figure i need 9 credits this summer to get the hell out of this frozen wasteland by summer 2003. so that the boy and i don't die of exposure, not to mention the lack of people to associate with.

Rome is 6 credits (and $5000)
that means if i take 3 credits after returning, i should be ok.
unfortunately they charge $685 per credit for those, and there's only interest accruing loans available for financial aid.

argh.

i'm even boring myself with these problems.
somebody please solve them, so i can move on to something more interesting.

ugh. my schedule of classes is looking more amorphous by the minute.

i need to assemble a manuscript for narrative writing by noon tomorrow. and even if it is judged good enough, i may not get to be in the section that i signed up for. lame. very very lame. because the other section plays havoc with my work schedule.

my anthropology class is unfortunately taught by a deadeningly boring lecturer, who i fear is going to make the material deathsome. a sad thing, considering the course is entitled Myth, Ritual, and Symbol and lists among other things, witchcraft, shamanism, sacrifice, and magick in the course keywords.

at least i'm pretty certain that Spenser and Malory will be good, it's taught by my advisor, a woman that i have a deep respect for as a scholar, and lecturer.

i'm worried. i feel all at sea about this semester thus far, and that's not a good way to begin. especially since we're only two and a half hours into it.

i walked to work today, instead of taking the bus. the air was cool, and grey, and the slight mist felt sort of wet against my face. this campus is so different without the students in it. it's this weird mishmash of 19th century architecture, coupled with a few prison like buildings circa 1970. everything looks exactly like you would imagine a college campus looking. you could totally guess what everything is, without anyone ever telling you, "that's the library" or "that's the chemical engineering building". This is somewhat comforting, especially during winter break or very early in the morning during the semester when the place is almost empty. the students (preppie scary overly normal did i mention frightening?) are what make this place terrifying, otherwise it's sort of like this strange college faerieland. one can almost see the ivory towers, perched on top of the hills, and the ivy climbing the walls, that distinctive old book scent mixing in with the smell of snow.