Mr. Robinson's Neighborhood
Aug. 24th, 2008 11:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
First, let me say, in the spirit of counting one's blessings before getting on to cataloguing the curses: I really do like my apartment. It's got a study for me (although I never use it, really - somewhere along the way, I've turned into a work-on-the-couch kinda girl, but my beautiful, jam packed bookshelves are there), and it's got a balcony where D. smokes his cigarettes and stares off into the distance - great for summer storm watching, and also to hang up the party twinkly lights, and I,
magnetgirl + boyfriend and
faris_nallaneen all painted the walls a gorgeous pale green and dark brown and a sort of goldy-cream & we hung fawn/silver striped curtains. It's a very nice flat, especially for NYC.
BUT THE NEIGHBORS. Oh my god.
Not all of them, I hasten to add. Not the lovely Greek family who lives on the left. They are awesome, and also, the lady of the house is the VP of the co-op board, and her very charming, old, grandfatherly husband is so great; always waits till I get my door unlocked in the hallway, as if wanting to be there to help me if I need it - not sure what he could do in an emergency, since he looks to have the approximate tensile strength of a dry, thin twig, but it's very thoughtful and sweet. There's also a young sorta Rastafarian couple down the hall, who seem cool but keep themselves to themselves. The Asian family down the hall, also perfectly respectable.
BUT JESUS FUCKING CHRIST ON A CRACKER - everyone else. Let me see.
First: Stalker Dave, who used to make a habit of ringing our buzzer @ 3am, asking to be let in. Now I am often up at that hour, but really. Also, kept leaving me excessively odd notes, and the odd plant, and coming out into the hallway whenever I opened my door, making small talk while I waited for the elevator, and then going back into his apartment. Maybe if you had a Southern accent, buddy, I could've bought that, but you don't. Told me I "saved his life" because he "was making pasta when [he] shouldn't have been" and had to take the pot outside, and forgot his keys. ???? At 4 am. Yeah. It was weird. D.'s still pretty adamant on getting a baseball bat (since I put my foot down on the gun issue).
Second. Dude down the hall is convinced that the phantom smell of cigarette smoke that lingers in the hallway is us, smoking in our apartment that, for the record, we own, and keeps putting "Quit smoking" propaganda under our door, so that sometimes we can't actually get the door open because of the wedge. Also hanging up HUGE posterboard signs in the hallway, with our apartment # on them, with gigantic notes requesting us to quit smoking. Today I came home to this gem:
NATURALLY no signature, because if you're going to do something like that, why not be a fucking anonymous coward about it, eh? I've complained to the mgmt about this guy, and they were very nice, and say that he's done this to other folk, and I actually thought he'd *ahem* quit doing it after the last time, but apparently not. I don't know what the hell they can do to stop it, but it is incredibly infuriating, ESPECIALLY since, as you may recall, D. (who is the smoker, I have maybe 4 cigarettes a year) always smokes either on the balcony (as aforesaid) or sometimes in inclement weather, by a window with the fan blowing out. Not that it matters, because not even if we stood in our foyer and blew smoke out the door crack into the hallway on purpose, would this guy have a leg to stand on. Also, remember the nice Greek family I mentioned before? The nice grandfatherly gentleman had a heart bypass just before we moved here, and according to his wife [the co-op VP], no longer smokes. We learned this when she was very kindly expressing her sympathies for the harassment. Of course, it came as something of a surprise to us to hear this, because we see him in the stairwell in front of our apartment all the time, smoking on the sly. Now of course we're not going to blow up this nice old man's spot; it's his heart, after all, and he can do what he likes. BUT IT IS SO AGGRAVATING. Just the sight of one of these notes now has the effect of sending me into a fucking tizzy of pissed offness.
ARGH.
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BUT THE NEIGHBORS. Oh my god.
Not all of them, I hasten to add. Not the lovely Greek family who lives on the left. They are awesome, and also, the lady of the house is the VP of the co-op board, and her very charming, old, grandfatherly husband is so great; always waits till I get my door unlocked in the hallway, as if wanting to be there to help me if I need it - not sure what he could do in an emergency, since he looks to have the approximate tensile strength of a dry, thin twig, but it's very thoughtful and sweet. There's also a young sorta Rastafarian couple down the hall, who seem cool but keep themselves to themselves. The Asian family down the hall, also perfectly respectable.
BUT JESUS FUCKING CHRIST ON A CRACKER - everyone else. Let me see.
First: Stalker Dave, who used to make a habit of ringing our buzzer @ 3am, asking to be let in. Now I am often up at that hour, but really. Also, kept leaving me excessively odd notes, and the odd plant, and coming out into the hallway whenever I opened my door, making small talk while I waited for the elevator, and then going back into his apartment. Maybe if you had a Southern accent, buddy, I could've bought that, but you don't. Told me I "saved his life" because he "was making pasta when [he] shouldn't have been" and had to take the pot outside, and forgot his keys. ???? At 4 am. Yeah. It was weird. D.'s still pretty adamant on getting a baseball bat (since I put my foot down on the gun issue).
Second. Dude down the hall is convinced that the phantom smell of cigarette smoke that lingers in the hallway is us, smoking in our apartment that, for the record, we own, and keeps putting "Quit smoking" propaganda under our door, so that sometimes we can't actually get the door open because of the wedge. Also hanging up HUGE posterboard signs in the hallway, with our apartment # on them, with gigantic notes requesting us to quit smoking. Today I came home to this gem:
Apt. # [redacted],
Please stop smoking inside the apt. It can be smelt from the 2nd floor stairwell + and is most strong in front of your apt,.. If Apt. [redacted] can quit smoking, you can too. It is best for all concerned, including most of all, you. OR request door jamb smoke excluders from the mgmt.
NATURALLY no signature, because if you're going to do something like that, why not be a fucking anonymous coward about it, eh? I've complained to the mgmt about this guy, and they were very nice, and say that he's done this to other folk, and I actually thought he'd *ahem* quit doing it after the last time, but apparently not. I don't know what the hell they can do to stop it, but it is incredibly infuriating, ESPECIALLY since, as you may recall, D. (who is the smoker, I have maybe 4 cigarettes a year) always smokes either on the balcony (as aforesaid) or sometimes in inclement weather, by a window with the fan blowing out. Not that it matters, because not even if we stood in our foyer and blew smoke out the door crack into the hallway on purpose, would this guy have a leg to stand on. Also, remember the nice Greek family I mentioned before? The nice grandfatherly gentleman had a heart bypass just before we moved here, and according to his wife [the co-op VP], no longer smokes. We learned this when she was very kindly expressing her sympathies for the harassment. Of course, it came as something of a surprise to us to hear this, because we see him in the stairwell in front of our apartment all the time, smoking on the sly. Now of course we're not going to blow up this nice old man's spot; it's his heart, after all, and he can do what he likes. BUT IT IS SO AGGRAVATING. Just the sight of one of these notes now has the effect of sending me into a fucking tizzy of pissed offness.
ARGH.
(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-25 01:56 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-25 03:59 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-25 03:38 pm (UTC)There is a one-act play somewhere in this, but it needs to be written by someone who drinks far more heavily than either of us ever has.
(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-25 04:00 pm (UTC)God, I am so not ready for school to start.
(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-25 10:02 pm (UTC)*is jealous, despite the crazy neighbors*
Sorry I haven't replied properly on email -- first day of school is today -- omg it's even more anxiety-inducing when we're the teachers!
I wonder if there's anything you can do back to the anti-smoking fanatic...and the stalker...
(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-25 10:19 pm (UTC)It's my parents' retirement "investment" bought just in time for the market to uh...take a nosedive. We have the sadim touch, you see, in terms of money.
No worries about replies. I haven't even finished my syllabus, and school starts for me on Thursday. And yeah, word. So much more stress from this side. Never would've guessed it. I wonder if the kids know we hate the end of vacation as much/more than they do.
I was trying to think! 'cause seriously, sick of taking this shit lying down...
(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-27 04:39 pm (UTC)I just had to say you have got to have the weirdest, creepier neighbors I have ever heard of. My neighbors all seem like perfectly normal people, and somewhat like a bit of saints too. I used to think an Uruguayan gay guy with pink and green poodles, who was left for a girl by the boyfriend, and after discovering a huge pleasure in cooking naked with his door opened, decided jumping from the second floor window was also amusing, was weird. Well, it is weird. But not really creepy. Creepy scares me more than weird, so. [The guy is alright, btw. Broke a few bones, but is perfectly fine today. And returned Uruguay, also.]
I've never been to NY. And it kind of fascinates me. The city, I mean. I don't know, but I get the feeling that this sort of thing is what fascinates me about NY.
(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-27 05:51 pm (UTC)Your Uruguayan guy sounds awesome. I wish my neighbors were *that* kind of weird. (Green & pink poodles? Like, were they dyed?) Instead they are just batshit crazy, and not in a fun, bohemian way.
However, you're right, the batshit-ness is part of what makes it the city I love. My partner, Daniel, is a transplant from California, and sometimes the press of people, and the huge, bustling anonymity of the place - where people will walk by you in the street without batting an eye, regardless of whether you're wearing nothing but a loincloth, or if you're bleeding in the street, gets on his nerves, but it's vibrant and amazing and I'm really glad I was born here. It used to be better though - when it wasn't so sanitized, I think. The New York I remember from childhood, and from books, is getting lost in a sea of corporate chains and gentrification. It's sad.
You're from Rio de Janeiro, right? I've always wanted to visit there. It looks so beautiful from pictures.
(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-28 06:10 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-28 08:48 pm (UTC)I always read that people who are from anywhere else but New York tend to find it cold and lacking of human heat. I think it's just the opposite. I've never been there, but NY is like one of the centers of the world. The world does have many centers. NY boils with people from everywhere around the globe, with the most different appearances, and tastes and colors and whatever. The world converges to it, and I think it's amazing. You just have to look, really, and preferably don't get entangled in the rush. Maybe people just don't take their time to watch and appreciate.
Yes, I am from Rio. =) It is a beautiful city. One of the most beautiful ones, I think. I mean, you have the european kind of beauty, that comes from the constructions, the large avenues, the history, the great monuments and bridges and stuff like that. Rio has a natural beauty. The beaches, the green, the mountains, all around the city. And it's a big city. So I guess that's what makes it so beautiful. It's very neglected, you know... Like most things around here. So many abandoned things, so many important spots left to grow old and disappear, so many problems all around... I think it has a kind of sad beauty. It's colorful and bright, but with this tad of sadness, you know? At least for me. I was born here, raised here, I love it here - people here are the complete opposite from NY - they are always smiling, being helpful and solidary and all. But... It's getting worse by the day. =/ Being handled by all the wrong people... It's sad, really. But anyway... I recommend your visit. =) Think you'd like it.
I definitely will go to NY sometime soon. It's on my top 5 places of the world to go. Think if I had to chose somewhere to live, it would be NY. It's hollywoodly and yet realistically cool.
Sorry, talking too much. =/
(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-28 06:17 pm (UTC)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r1vVCXXLGbY