hermit crab me

[fictional]

i'm posting from the theatre office, where i am waiting for the "talkback" people to clear out, so that i can clean this place up and head for home.
yes, this is me, stage managing again.
it's been, (again) a long time since i've posted, and i miss it.
i miss being plugged in.
it used to be so easy.
lately, i feel like i'm wading through my life...
trying to run through water.
everything seems heavy to me, lifting my feet, interacting with people.
i miss my friends, but they seem like people that belong to someone else, or like characters in stories.
i watch myself like a silent movie,
avoiding headlines like the plague,
avoiding sex, and drugs, and music.
i read some, but only old books, never new ones.
i remember being excited about things, the theater, fantasy, tv shows, being in love...
and it all just seems like bread left out too long.
looks almost identical to its old self,
but when you pick it up it's hard and crusty, and
inedible.