the end of teenage soap operas
May. 21st, 2003 01:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fictionalwell, i'm in the city, and happy to be so, yet strangely restless.
it's a funny feeling, everything seems oddly hollow, as if it were not quite real.
tonight: dinner with dave, tami, and becca. that should be fun. and before that, i must at least make a start on laundry, and perhaps arrange for a driving lesson, or two.
i taped Buffy last night (please let it have taped okay, i couldn't really check because i can't watch it yet). D. plans to stop by my house before he flies to Seattle next Tuesday and watch it with me. at least it'll be Tuesday, right?
In some ways i'm glad i haven't seen it yet...it's not quite over. it's funny to be so crazy about a tv show, but it formed such an enormous part of my life for so long...and it was such a huge thing for me and d. it feels like something's being torn away. even when things were worst between us, we always talked every tuesday night, and dissected Buffy to pieces. silly, but true.
it feels like the end of childhood, perhaps. something like the end of dawson's creek, which i haven't even watched for the past few years, but did religiously in high school. it was me, after all, in love with someone i could never have, who wasn't even worth it, overshadowed in my heart by someone else, always. and i realize i will never feel like that again. something about that intensity can never be repeated...maybe thankfully...and yet it feels like i've lost something.
it's a funny feeling, everything seems oddly hollow, as if it were not quite real.
tonight: dinner with dave, tami, and becca. that should be fun. and before that, i must at least make a start on laundry, and perhaps arrange for a driving lesson, or two.
i taped Buffy last night (please let it have taped okay, i couldn't really check because i can't watch it yet). D. plans to stop by my house before he flies to Seattle next Tuesday and watch it with me. at least it'll be Tuesday, right?
In some ways i'm glad i haven't seen it yet...it's not quite over. it's funny to be so crazy about a tv show, but it formed such an enormous part of my life for so long...and it was such a huge thing for me and d. it feels like something's being torn away. even when things were worst between us, we always talked every tuesday night, and dissected Buffy to pieces. silly, but true.
it feels like the end of childhood, perhaps. something like the end of dawson's creek, which i haven't even watched for the past few years, but did religiously in high school. it was me, after all, in love with someone i could never have, who wasn't even worth it, overshadowed in my heart by someone else, always. and i realize i will never feel like that again. something about that intensity can never be repeated...maybe thankfully...and yet it feels like i've lost something.
