the conclusion is left as an exercise for the student...

[fictional]

I forgot to mention that while in DC, we had a little adventure, which I thought I ought to document for y'all.

We were walking down the hill from Adams-Morgan (where my cousin lived before leaving for London to take on his new job at The Economist) to Dupont Circle.

The dramatis personae: me, my cousin, and hofnarr, who for those of you who don't know - is tall, has got light brown hair, green eyes, and if he'd lived in Germany at the appropriate time, could've been a poster boy for Aryan pride (He grew a moustache once, and I called him "Franz" until he shaved it off. I am not always the nicest person in the world, but that's another story entirely.) My cousin, like myself, might also be described as Aryan, I suppose - but of a different stripe entirely, since we're Indian. Short, dark-skinned, etc. etc.

On our way, we happened to pass by the First Church of Scientology.

Visitors Welcome, proclaimed the sign outside. We eyed each other curiously, and then decided this was an opportunity that should not be passed over lightly.

We went in. Pictures of Hubbard's house everywhere. Past the foyer, I could see something with curved computer banks; it looked utterly futuristic, all white and blue, and blinking.

There was a girl at the reception desk; she said, "Hello," and her voice cracked nervously. We said we were tourists, and had heard a lot about this place, and thought we'd stop by.

She said we could have a tour; she pressed a button under her desk, and asked for a guide to report to the desk. We heard voices upstairs, but no one arrived. She kept jabbing at the button like it was a panic button or something.

We waited. Then finally, a gentleman appeared. He did not address me, or my cousin directly. He did however shake hofnarr's hand, and pressed upon him a business card. He did not give us the tour, but gently indicated that we might prefer to leave - and perhaps visit the Hubbard Museum instead.

If we had wanted to drink the koolaid, we couldn't have. Except for hofnarr.

These are the facts. Conclusions? I leave that for you.

Comments

[rm.livejournal.com]

Woah.

Is it bad I'm more stunned by the fact you all went in there than I am by the fact that scientologists are also crazy racists?

[kalichan.livejournal.com]

Curiosity killed the clam? We wanted to see what it was like!

[electro-club.livejournal.com]

Conclusion is: good thing nobody takes scientologists seriously.

[kalichan.livejournal.com]

Hahaha! Go to the head of the class!

[oddnari.livejournal.com]

Oh, it's simple. They pegged you for the type who would not embrace their cause and give them all your money while your friend totally would. Or something.

Jesu.

[kalichan.livejournal.com]

*laughs* That makes it sound almost... good ;-)

[bodlon.livejournal.com]

...

I'm not sure whether this encourages me (read: more evidence that Scientology is both evil and does not recruit universally) or makes me even more sick than I already feel today.

Huh.

[kalichan.livejournal.com]

I know! I was all like, should I be flattered? Or rejected??

EVEN THE CRAZY PPL DO NOT WANT ME! *cries*

Saw your post. feh on stupid work people, say I.

[kel-reiley.livejournal.com]

have you ever seen that south park episode?

[kalichan.livejournal.com]

yeah! actually i was reminded to post this last night 'coz my friend was pulling out his Isaac Hayes record collection, and i was like, oh! I have creepy clam story that i forgot to blog about.

[kel-reiley.livejournal.com]

hehehe

[sanginmychains.livejournal.com]

That's hilarious, in a terribly upsetting kind of way.

[kalichan.livejournal.com]

Yeah. it's like: am I hurt? am I amused? What do you do when rejected by rejects? *laughs* I will just have to form my own brainwashing cult now....

want to join? I promise the koolaid will be free to all!

[psykaos42.livejournal.com]

Actually, Scientology has a fairly strong streak of racism in it (unless you're a rich person of color, like Isaac Hayes). Also, L. Ron Hubbard wasn't overly fond of women, except for sexual purposes. I once read a biography of him written by his son (which the church tried to have suppressed, BTW), and his son estimated his father cheated on his mother pretty much from the very beginning of their marriage. All the really important people in the church hierarchy are men, as women are viewed as being...I don't want to say inferior, but that's the only way I can describe it.

In other words, he probably figured you and your cousin didn't have much money, whereas your friend did. There's a reason the main office of Scientology is in Hollywood, and that so many movie stars and rock stars tend to be members of it. Hubbard had it built there specifically, after he discovered that ordinary people didn't really cotton to the whole idea of spending hundreds of thousands of dollars just so they could get 'cleared' Famous people, on the other hand, tend to jump on any new fad that comes along.

The man was a right bastard, but he was an expert at manipulating people. And the tradition's been handed down.

[kalichan.livejournal.com]

The funny thing is that my cousin is wayyyyyyyyyyyy richer than either I or my partner. Not like we were gonna give them any money anyway, but still ;-)

I never knew about them being racist before, but some of my friends and I have a creepy trainwreck fascination with the whole thing (hence the venturing through their doors), and I guess I've noticed that the Hubbard stress test people have never offered me one in the subway. So. Yes.

[psykaos42.livejournal.com]

I've had a creepy train-wreck fascination with them since I read Hubbard's biography, because I can't believe that sane, supposedly rational people actually believe the bullshit they pedal

They try to keep the racism under wraps, but if you've noticed, the few non-white people you hear about who are scientologists tend to be movie stars or musicians.

Hubbard himself was vehemently racist, but I think the organization has softened the stance over the years in an attempt to attract more people. So it becomes a case of "We're not racist, this person is a Scientologist and they're black/latino/whatever,' not bothering to mention that the person in question makes several million dollars a year.

In other words, they're not likely to be setting up centers in downtown Detroit or New Dehli any time soon.

[askeladden.livejournal.com]

Have you noticed, though, that recently they've started choosing young hipster/hippie/alterna-looking types to man their e-meters? When they were near the A line exit at Times Square, it was mostly dowdy middle aged shlubs. But now that they're parked near the 1, it's all nose piercings and whiteboy dreadlocks. So D., it's scary to say, would probably be their perfect pick for the recruitment division. {shudder}

[lyorn.livejournal.com]

Conclusions?

This needs a cat macro. I can haz koolaid?

[kalichan.livejournal.com]

A clam macro?? Can there be clam macros? Would that be too porny?