Writing sex: a confession
Jan. 21st, 2009 01:26 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fictionalIt may come as a surprise to those of you who read IHNIIHBT, which is sort of a pornographic epic, but I greatly dislike writing sex.
No, really.
I hate it a lot. Which is funny because lately, we've been doing a lot of it.
Don't get me wrong. I love that our story is so filthy and x-rated. In fact, sometimes I even think it could stand to be filthier. I like reading sex. Oh man, do I. Porn, for me, is a primarily written-word driven thing, and it was that way long before I discovered fandom and its box of erotic delights. Think reading bodice-rippers and skimming my way through Tess of the D'Urbervilles at seven, desperately (and unsuccessfully, fuck you, Thomas Hardy) searching for the dirty bits...! Flipping through the Mists of Avalon for the threesome scene, etc. etc.
But writing it? A resounding "feh!"
For one thing, it's really hard [no pun intended]. Sex is repetitive. We have a finite number of moving parts, we have a finite number of slots for those parts to fit into. We tweak, we stroke, we push, we pull, we slap, we tickle; we get wet, we get hard. It feels great, except when it doesn't. And if you add in too many adverbs and adjectives -- you run the risk of sounding like a romance novel, a bad romance novel.
I don't know about you, but I have sex in my head. If my brain isn't getting off, I can spasm all I want, but I haven't come. It's no good to me without the brainfuck. There's an internal narrative always going on -- which mirrors to varying degrees what's actually happening in the physical, corporeal world. Sometimes, the degree is zero. Things I would never do "for real", things I would find actively offensive or disturbing if I weren't in bed, and believing that the things people imagine or play at in order to find pleasure are all perfectly okay.1
Thing is, when you're writing, the characters can't have internal narratives, unrelated to what's around them, because they're already in a narrative! Hell, they are the narrative. And of what interest to the reader -- who's using your story to furnish their own fantasy about say, Jack and Ianto -- is an internal, unrelated narrative that the character might possibly be having, if they were real? My feeling is, generally speaking, probably not much. Because that's like being OOC on purpose, and no one wants to see that, right?
So there's ways around it. Hence: dirty talk, d/s, drag, s & m, 3somes -- all games that are all about the stories you tell yourself. Narratives embraced and imposed.
But. I have to wonder, what are the fantasies of fantasies? What are the stories that stories whisper to themselves in the dark, or the ones they hold tightly to themselves, too ashamed even to say out loud?
Because that? That might be hot.
1That's what I tell myself anyway. Rationalizations: more important than sex. Think about it. Ever made it through a day without a rationalization? Yeah..
No, really.
I hate it a lot. Which is funny because lately, we've been doing a lot of it.
Don't get me wrong. I love that our story is so filthy and x-rated. In fact, sometimes I even think it could stand to be filthier. I like reading sex. Oh man, do I. Porn, for me, is a primarily written-word driven thing, and it was that way long before I discovered fandom and its box of erotic delights. Think reading bodice-rippers and skimming my way through Tess of the D'Urbervilles at seven, desperately (and unsuccessfully, fuck you, Thomas Hardy) searching for the dirty bits...! Flipping through the Mists of Avalon for the threesome scene, etc. etc.
But writing it? A resounding "feh!"
For one thing, it's really hard [no pun intended]. Sex is repetitive. We have a finite number of moving parts, we have a finite number of slots for those parts to fit into. We tweak, we stroke, we push, we pull, we slap, we tickle; we get wet, we get hard. It feels great, except when it doesn't. And if you add in too many adverbs and adjectives -- you run the risk of sounding like a romance novel, a bad romance novel.
I don't know about you, but I have sex in my head. If my brain isn't getting off, I can spasm all I want, but I haven't come. It's no good to me without the brainfuck. There's an internal narrative always going on -- which mirrors to varying degrees what's actually happening in the physical, corporeal world. Sometimes, the degree is zero. Things I would never do "for real", things I would find actively offensive or disturbing if I weren't in bed, and believing that the things people imagine or play at in order to find pleasure are all perfectly okay.1
Thing is, when you're writing, the characters can't have internal narratives, unrelated to what's around them, because they're already in a narrative! Hell, they are the narrative. And of what interest to the reader -- who's using your story to furnish their own fantasy about say, Jack and Ianto -- is an internal, unrelated narrative that the character might possibly be having, if they were real? My feeling is, generally speaking, probably not much. Because that's like being OOC on purpose, and no one wants to see that, right?
So there's ways around it. Hence: dirty talk, d/s, drag, s & m, 3somes -- all games that are all about the stories you tell yourself. Narratives embraced and imposed.
But. I have to wonder, what are the fantasies of fantasies? What are the stories that stories whisper to themselves in the dark, or the ones they hold tightly to themselves, too ashamed even to say out loud?
Because that? That might be hot.
1That's what I tell myself anyway. Rationalizations: more important than sex. Think about it. Ever made it through a day without a rationalization? Yeah..
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Re: *plays Devil's Advocate*
Date: 2009-01-21 05:55 pm (UTC)The same way we do as actual people. You do realize how utterly *shocking* or weird or edgy or "for real, real people do that" a lot of people would find a lot of the things both you and I have done?
Re: *plays Devil's Advocate*
Date: 2009-01-21 06:01 pm (UTC)Re: *plays Devil's Advocate*
Date: 2009-01-21 06:03 pm (UTC)2. Darth Vader -- I just... I got nothing. But it goes back to my tentacle remark to Sam -- how do you write that so it's not HILARIOUS?
3. If we wrote what people were looking for, would we be writing IHNIIHBT? Maybe. But the backstory with Nine? Probably not.
4. People often don't know what they are looking for until they find it. *cue romance music*
5. Fuck 'em.
Re: *plays Devil's Advocate*
Date: 2009-01-21 06:11 pm (UTC)2. YES. The hilarity is a problem. How do you go there in all seriousness? But remember the boots??? Real people do it. (I mean, not to say that wasn't hilarious, but you know what I mean.)
3. Ultimately, it's about what the characters do, not what the readers want. But still. How to convey appropriately. *g*
Re: *plays Devil's Advocate*
Date: 2009-01-21 06:12 pm (UTC)2. Wha boots? I feel I've forgotten something important.
3. Well, its why we edit. Unlike Anne Rice.
Re: *plays Devil's Advocate*
Date: 2009-01-21 06:15 pm (UTC)Remember when we saw Revenge of the Sith?? And I was, um, obsessed??? And you had this idea about jedi boots....
Re: *plays Devil's Advocate*
Date: 2009-01-21 06:16 pm (UTC)Re: *plays Devil's Advocate*
Date: 2009-01-21 11:31 pm (UTC)*starts giggling*
Actually, I LOVE having humour in my porn, from having Nine forget there was a wall behind him and crack his head on it to people tripping, to Ten finding his shoes were LITERALLY on the wrong feet.
For me, having these little faults and foibles and screwups only makes the sex hotter. 1) It lets the characters be real people, 2) It relieves the tension just a little so characters and readers alike can relax into it, 3) IRL, the best sex isn't always the one from which you emerge with pride unscathed.
FWIW