rubber duckie

i really like baths.
they're so hot and steamy and comforting, (and um, well...other things too...)
i've missed my bathtub. never really found another one like it.
it's wider that most, and has some of the best water pressure ever.
this is important.
i'm all loofahed and splashed and lotioned.

my little nephew is the cutest thing ever.
he has this adorable way of holding his arms up to be picked up and hugged.
and the sweetest smile.
he was curled up on my lap, telling me things (he's quite talkative for an 18 month old, i think he might take after me), and nestling into me as i sang to him.
smelling that clean baby scent and looking into his huge black eyes, i wanted to kiss him forever.

music from a different time

so close no matter how far
couldn't be much more from the heart...

i've been listening to music that i didn't take to college with me,
from before i left this home again, hopefully for the last time.
music from that last year here...

that year was so intense. possibly the longest one of my life.
i remember that burning feeling in my stomach.
that wrench. that "i'm not where i'm supposed to be"
i've never wanted to disappear from existence so badly.
everything hurt.

things are better now. so much better.
but i'm listening to this music that i used to help me keep faith
through sleepless 4am's, trite sayings that i used like mantras to keep myself believing that things would work out, somehow.
and it still burns, a little.

...forever trusting who we are
and nothing else matters