progress report

Thesis writing progresses apace.
I now am correcting my last chapter (the one on Tolkien) and then I must write my conclusion about further implications for critical study. I have four hours before I have to leave for school. This is okay, I think.
There is of course a problem; I don't know what I think about my thesis anymore. Is it good? Is it solid? Will I be finished, with a perfect copy by the time it is due? Have I really done anything original? What is my writing like? You would think that my advisor's critique would answer these questions, but it is unsatisfying. It will be about 55 pages long, which is extremely short. My eternal problem. I babble so much in real life, you would think that I could extend that a little to my scholarly work. Anyway, it's still the longest thing I've ever written, and I have worked pretty hard on it. Too bad that doesn't feel like it counts for anything.
I am however very tired. Also there is thunder and lightening happening; the sky is one solid shade of depressing grey. The colorlessness begins. I feel beaten down at the very thought of it.

ARGH!

So, the person who definitively said they were going to take my apartment on Sunday, has just called and informed me that after a conversation with her mother (!), she has been convinced not to take the place.
I am really fucking pissed. Not to mention seriously worried, and depressed, and I can feel those pains from my ulcer start to go crazy again.

I don't know what to do. The only other person who I showed the apartment to, didn't want it. And I am having scary visions of bad credit due to lease breaking, or being sued for the remainder of the lease, which would suck or being forced to stay in Ithaca next semester (even though I can't afford this place on my own, by a long shot, and I can't expect my parents to keep supporting a separate establishment for me when I'm not in school). So not only would I be poorer than poor in that situation, I'd also be stuck HERE. And then so much for all my happy travel plans.

And I really thought that this was at least one thing that I didn't have to worry about anymore.
I will make more fliers, and post them about, and keep the ad that I have going. But I am feeling the waves of angry despair wash over me, and I. do. not. like. it. at. all.

If anyone has any advice, please feel free to dispense. I could use it.