Crisis of faith
Dec. 7th, 2004 11:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fictionalI cannot write. Or rather I can, it's just crap, pure and simple.
What am I doing? For $.02 I'd hang it all up and go put on a skirt and some heels and get an office job.
What's the point of all this if nothing I write is any good?! I gave up something I had really really really wanted to do on Sunday, to sit here and slug away, and I just read over the result and it tastes like ashes in my mouth. It's like sex when sex is dead: just wet slimy foreign objects working away at each other. Blood, sweat and tears, + agonizing indecision, and I just feel like a talent-less hack.
And this was it - my last chance. It's even a compromise - if not art, then study. They used to say wizardry was an inborne art, but alchemy is learnt. And I was hoping, really hoping to at least have that.
What am I doing? For $.02 I'd hang it all up and go put on a skirt and some heels and get an office job.
What's the point of all this if nothing I write is any good?! I gave up something I had really really really wanted to do on Sunday, to sit here and slug away, and I just read over the result and it tastes like ashes in my mouth. It's like sex when sex is dead: just wet slimy foreign objects working away at each other. Blood, sweat and tears, + agonizing indecision, and I just feel like a talent-less hack.
And this was it - my last chance. It's even a compromise - if not art, then study. They used to say wizardry was an inborne art, but alchemy is learnt. And I was hoping, really hoping to at least have that.