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fictionalTitle: There Are Some Men Who Should Have Mountains To Bear Their Names To Time
Pairing/Characters: Jack/Ianto, Ten, +TW team, +sundry members of DW Cast
Authors:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
rm & kalichan
Rating/Warning: NC-17, slash, plot, religion (!!), and porn.
Summary: Some people say goodbye and others say hello.
Wordcount: ~32,000 words, posted in five parts
Authors' Notes: This is the penultimate installment of our series, I Had No Idea I Had Been Traveling. The title is from a poem by Leonard Cohen; summary is, of course, courtesy The Beatles. Next up: the final installment of the main story arc, though we will be returning to the 'verse at some point after that for some digressions and interludes, and a DVD commentary! Just prior to this, we posted two prequels (one for Jack, and one for Ianto) which are fairly important to the conclusion of the series. They are numbered 8 & 9 in the links below if you'd like to catch up.
Previous installments:
1. A Strange Fashion of Forsaking | 2. Dear Captain, Last Night I Slept in Mutiny | 3. To Learn This Holding and the Holding Back | 4. The Most Beautiful Girl in the World | 5. I Imagine You Now in That Other City | 6. Many of My Favorite Things Are Broken | 6.5 Up, Down, Strange, Charm, Truth, Beauty: or, A Child's Guide to Modern Physics | 7. In Our Bedroom After the War | 8. And I Cannot Know How Long She Has Dreamed of All of You [Jack/Nine/Rose] | 9. The Spectacular Catastrophe of Your Endless Childhood [Ianto/OFCs, Ianto/Lisa]
While Tesco at 2pm on a Tuesday afternoon wasn't Ianto's idea of heaven, it was at least something he found remarkably pleasant. Not too crowded, mums and babies doing their grocery shops, and him getting to pretend he lived a normal life while stocking up on supplies for the Torchwood pantry.
Even if he didn't approve of all the supplies -- Ravi had appalling taste in caffeinated beverages, Andy ate far too much pot noodle, and Maeve preferred biscuits that were more butter than flour, while Gwen and Jack both always seemed to find some personal item or other to add to his list. It would have annoyed him had he not liked picking the things out and dumping them in his trolley and fantasizing about when he'd actually have time to to do the same on behalf of his own flat, not that he ever saw it enough for it to really matter.
Jack teased him about his fondness for the task, and Ianto found he didn't mind, not just because he had Jack's attention, but because he had Jack's understanding of the gap between what his life had once been and what Torchwood had made it.
Sometimes, a woman would smile at him, and whether it was civility or flirtation Ianto was never quite sure. He never thought about it too hard, though, because both notions held their own appeal. Regardless, he always told Jack it was flirtation but only because it pleased Jack inordinately to have an opportunity to make crass jokes about melons.
Today though, Ianto suspected he might have actual flirtation to tell Jack about as he became aware of someone standing far too close to him, almost as if they were trying to read over his shoulder, despite there being nothing to read. Afterall, Ianto didn't shop with a grocery list, he didn't need to.
Ianto pushed his trolley forward to give himself a bit more personal space as he perused the sandwich bread options, only to feel himself crowded again. At 2pm on a Tuesday that simply wasn't necessary, and so he turned to say just that.
The words died in his mouth.
"Oh. Hello!" the man he was now facing said brightly. No, not a man. The Doctor.
"A coincidence is too much to hope for, isn't it?" Ianto said, skipping any sense of preamble.
"No such thing as coincidence. Not for Time Lords. Good to finally see you again, Ianto."
"Jack's back at the Hub," he said, knowing he sounded petulant, but for him, the Doctor had always been trouble, on scales both large and small.
"What makes you think I'm here to see Jack?" the Doctor said cheerily before adding, "They have cinnamon raisin bread! Brilliant!" and slinging an arm around Ianto's shoulders.
Ianto wanted to bristle at the unwelcome touch, but he was distracted, abruptly, by understanding some of what Jack saw in this man, aside from an affection based on the most absurd and awful circumstances imaginable.
Sure, the Doctor was too thin, but he wasn't clumsy like anyone would have assumed just to look at him, and his fingers were long and lovely, and the smile made you want to laugh with him, but his eyes were serious and a little sad, like Jack's, and Ianto could see how easy it would be for someone who didn't know any better -- and Jack definitely never knew any better -- to fall down that well and drown. Ianto noticed all these things suddenly and helplessly, and hated himself for doing it.
"What?" the Doctor said, cocking an eyebrow. "You're looking at me oddly."
"You're touching me. In Tesco," Ianto replied, reaching up to straighten his tie.
The Doctor stepped back. "Sorry! I didn't know there was no touching in Tesco's," he said, looking around curiously.
Ianto sighed. "Are you here to refuel?"
"Nope. I'm here to see you."
Ianto bit off several replies he knew weren't remotely up to the standard of discomfort this whole situation was provoking in him. Jack, he thought, would know what to do. Jack, however, would also make the whole thing worse.
Ianto sighed and settled his hands on his hips. "Fine. Why?"
"Do I need a reason? Finish your shop, Ianto. I'll keep you company. You'll need some fruit, won't you? That lot you look after, they'd live on chips and pizzas and curries forever, if you weren't around. You know, there's a planet called Stow where they think you survive on buffalo wings! Of course, they think that the buffalo's some sort of mighty avian beast, so, you know."
Ianto, somewhat dazed by the flood of irrelevant information, allowed the Doctor to tug him along through the aisles.
"Look, nectarines!" the Doctor said happily, throwing a bag of them in the cart. "They used to think those were the bastard children of peaches and plums, but no, just a different kind of peach. Skin's not everything. You'll get there in the end. Mind you, when you lot - humans, you know -- get to mixing things, there's no telling where you end up. Brilliant, really. I met a tree once, who'd come from around here. Well, sort of. Root stock, anyway. Funny old world, isn't it? That's maybe one of her great-aunts, well, a few more greats than that, but--"
"Doctor --" Ianto tried to interrupt.
"What?" The Doctor stopped and turned to look at him.
"If you could just tell me what's going on."
"What makes you think there's something going on? Maybe I just wanted to have a look at you. Let's see. When are we now? There was that one time, a few years back for you, but it was through a screen and bit busy at the time, weren't we? Towing the earth and all. Jack's told me all about you of course, but --"
"He has?" Ianto interjected, not sure whether to be pleased or horrified by the thought.
"Well, sort of. Well, not really. Not yet. Mostly Martha, you remember Martha, don't you? We have a chat every so often. She keeps me filled in."
"Doctor," Ianto said, taking the bunch of bananas out of his hand and putting them back. "No one at Torchwood likes bananas. Could you tell me why you're here?"
"Bananas are lovely. How can you not like bananas? What's not to like?"
"Fine," Ianto said, giving up. "Look, I've got my mobile here, I'll just ring up Jack, and we can --"
"No," the Doctor said, suddenly sounding extremely serious. He reached out and seized Ianto's wrist, arresting his motion. Ianto thought distantly that the Doctor was stronger than he looked. "You can't."
"Why not?" he asked, trying to keep his voice as calm and level as possible.
"End of the world?" the Doctor offered, his voice cheery again.
"Is that a question?" he said weakly.
"Nope."
"Right. Of course. Listen, I'm going to need a little bit more than that, I'm afraid."
"You don't trust me, do you?" the Doctor said, his voice kind now.
Ianto thought for a moment. Then he said, "Jack trusts you. And I trust Jack."
"Like a syllogism? If a equals b and b equals c, then a equals c. An equation of trust. Or is it like a game of chinese whispers? Diluted by repetition till the original meaning is quite lost? Which is it, Ianto Jones?"
Ianto took a deep breath. "Sir. I am trying to understand what's happening here. You've come up to me in the middle of a midday shopping excursion for what is undoubtedly some sort of life or death reason. You've told me not to get in touch with, for lack of a better term, my commanding officer. I don't know how you expect me to react, but I think you probably know that none of these things are combining to make me feel very comfortable."
The Doctor smiled. "Well, then. I need you to do me a favour. And I need you to do it without telling anyone at Torchwood what you're doing. Especially -- and you knew this was coming, didn't you? -- my old friend Jack. Do you think you can do that?"
"I'm not going to betray Jack, Doctor. Or Torchwood. I don't know why you thought --"
"Would I ask you to do something like that?"
"That's what it sounds like."
"I wouldn't. Jack's not always got the best sense, and Torchwood can be an imperialistic bunch of trigger happy --"
"Doctor!"
"Anyway. No. No betrayal necessary. Not this time," the Doctor said, pointedly, and Ianto felt his fists clench. Who knew what the Doctor knew about him? Or what Jack had told him? "Suppose I did let you ring up Jack?” he continued. “And suppose you told him that I was here, and I needed you to do me a favour, but we couldn't tell him what it was, what d'you think he'd tell you to do?"
Ianto paused. "He'd tell me to do whatever you said. No questions asked."
The Doctor looked at him expectantly.
Ianto sighed. And then nodded.
"Good!" The Doctor smiled, and tossed an apple up into the air, before catching it and taking a bite out of it.
"You're supposed to pay for those first," Ianto said wearily.
"Maybe I already did," the Doctor said, grinning. "Time traveler, remember?"
Ianto shook his head. "Do you think Jack's right to trust you so much?" he asked idly and watched as the Doctor's face wiped clean of all expression.
"Told you, didn't I? He's not always got the best sense. Still, we work with what we have, eh?"
Ianto almost felt guilty but then the Doctor was smiling again.
"Let's finish up your list, shall we? You're going to want to get some biscuits, aren't you?"
"I don't have a list," Ianto said.
"You don't have a list written down," the Doctor corrected him. "Biscuits? Chocolate covered? And some bar chocolate for your pteranodon?"
"Right," Ianto said. "And then maybe you could tell me what you want me to --"
"Right! Yes! So. You know that there's one end of a Rift through space and time going through Cardiff. Of course you do, you work on the thing day and night. It's not the only one, you know -- there was one in the Medusa Cascade, you remember being there, don't you? -- and then another beautiful one, near this planet called Kaesov, but that's neither here nor there. Anyway. The other end, it sort of, well.... floats about, doesn't it? Sometimes you get things from the past, the future, other planets, other galaxies... am I right?"
"Yes," Ianto agreed, not seeing where this was going.
"Well. A friend of mine's lost something rather important. And I need to get it back to him. I've got reason to believe that it came through the Rift and ended up -- here."
"Okay," Ianto said. "What is it?"
"Oh, I can't tell you that," the Doctor said, as if it were obvious.
"When did it come through?"
"I can't tell you that either."
"Is there anything you can tell me?"
"Of course," the Doctor said cheerfully. "It'll look sort of like an enormous seed, about a foot in diameter? And it came through somewhere in the last century. Can't be more precise than that, I'm afraid. And without you, Ianto Jones, one of two things will happen. Either it'll languish there forever, and my friend will be very, very sad, or... well, it'll hatch. And let's just say, that won't be good."
"Where did it come from?"
"Far into your future," the Doctor said, flinging a few bars of dark chocolate into the trolley. "Very far."
"So, if it were going to, what was it, hatch, wouldn't you know that it had?"
"Clever lad. But no, since you're going to help me, luckily we won't have to find out. Great Cobalt Pyramid still standing, universe not dissolving in paradox and all that."
"Great Cobalt Pyramid?"
"Well, Torchwood stands a good long time, but you don't expect it to last forever, do you? Everything ends. Look. Here's what I need you to do. Go into those Archives of yours, find this thing, and then bring it to me. I'll take it off your hands and Bob's your uncle. Easy as pie. Just do it without letting Jack or any of your other colleagues seeing you. All right?"
"You haven't given me very much to go on," Ianto protested, grasping at just one of his many objections to this plan. "What if there are a whole lot of things that all look alike? How am I supposed to know which one it is?"
"Bring them all; I'll know it when I see it. I can't have the Captain seeing me here. He'll want to help, and that, that'll just make things worse. Much worse. And you know Jack, once he's got his teeth into an idea. Once he knocked my TARDIS all the way to the end of the universe. Could've killed him. And it did, now that I think of it. Just didn't stick. Slippery man, your Captain. Anyway. You'll be fine -- quite good at sneaking things in and out of the Hub, aren't you?"
Ianto blushed furiously. There were so many things the Doctor could have been referring to there, and none of them were things Ianto wanted him to know about.
***
"Are you all right?" Jack asked laying a hand between Ianto's shoulders and smoothing it down to the small of his back. "You seem tense."
"Yeah, I -- " Ianto paused and licked his lips. He hadn't even thought of a lie, he'd been so eager just to get back and either away from what the Doctor wanted or done with it. And now here was Jack, crowding him as ever in the pantry.
Jack made an interrogative noise and quirked his head, like he was actually concerned, which Ianto supposed he was.
He took a deep breath and turned, shrugging away from Jack's touch in the process. "I ran into someone I used to know. When I was a kid," he said. "It was strange."
"Did you tell him about me?" Jack teased.
"Her," Ianto said, as if correcting the so-called facts could make them true. Then he looked Jack in the eye. "Yes."
Jack smiled in a way that was small and warm, and Ianto tried to do the same, although it felt awkward on his face, not that, that was anything new.
"Maybe we'll have a quiet night tonight," Jack offered.
"I'd like that," he said, and felt his own smile widen, become natural, even as he had a terrible feeling it wasn't going to be a quiet night at all, at least not for him and Jack, assuming he found this thing without too much trouble. And he wanted to. Whatever this sin was, he wanted to commit it quick.
When Jack finally stepped out of his space and left him to prepare the afternoon coffee and biscuits because someone had to and Andy was intolerable if his blood sugar got low, Ianto reminded himself not to sigh. Someone might see it on the CCTV, and he didn't want that now or later, when he was hopefully done with this.
He was unsure enough about what he was doing, without having to justify it to other people, and that was wrong too, because he wasn't meant to keep secrets. Bad things happened when he did, as Jack had tried to hammer into his head so long ago, even if he and Gwen were the only ones who remembered now. But he was committed, and if a thing was going to be done, it was worth doing well.
The search was, he decided, going to have to be manual. It would be easy enough to fix the camera in the Archives to a single recording loop which would hide the physical evidence of his search. He didn't want files to trace back to his hunt, and he figured he could manage with just his brain and his hands. Probably.
Certainly, he could rule out the period of time he'd worked at Torchwood, because he didn't remember the thing. And he could rule out the decades of files he'd managed to reorganize -- at least for now -- as he was fairly certain nothing of that ilk had shown up there either. Similarly, he was going to save anything from the millennium until his own arrival at Torchwood for the last part of his search. From what the Doctor said, Jack finding this thing would have been bad, which implied it hadn't arrived while Jack was in charge. Ianto hoped.
Of course, Ianto hoped a lot of things. Like that the damn seed was actually in the archives and hadn't just appeared in some sub-basement tunnel they didn't even know about. He also hoped it hadn't been eaten by either a weevil or Myfanwy, although neither seemed particularly fond of vegetarian meal options. Assuming it was a plant, of course. The Doctor said it looked like a seed. But since when did seeds hatch?
Ianto ran a hand through his hair. He'd work through the afternoon meeting, let Jack think he was still in a mood from the supposed Tesco encounter. After all, he rather was.
***
"Where's Ianto?" Jack asked, looking around the table.
Ravi shrugged, Andy slid his eyes to Gwen, Gwen looked around the table as if he might be hiding in plain sight and Maeve finally spoke.
"Archives, I think."
"Doing what?" Jack asked, annoyed not to have something pleasant to look at that would actually sleep with him present at the meeting. This hiring straight boys and lesbians thing had to stop.
"Filing, I assume. He's calculated that it takes 2.7 months of uninterrupted 35 hour weeks to correctly re-organize one year of the archives. Since there are no uninterrupted 35 hour weeks to be had...."
"Right, can we not measure Ianto's life expectancy in files?" Jack said, cutting her off, and reaching to tap his com. "Ianto! Where are you? Meeting."
"Files," Ianto replied dryly, sounding a bit miserable. "Do you need me?"
Jack grinned. "I always need you, Ianto."
"Yes, sir," Ianto's voice came through the speaker after an infinitesimal pause. Jack thought about trying to hide his smirk at Ianto's attempt to sound professional, but frankly, not very hard. "Be right there, sir."
Jack clicked off, and looked around the table. "Now that is what I like to hear. So, what have we got today?"
***
He hadn't really been needed at that meeting, but Ianto didn't allow himself much by way of protest when it was over other than the expected self-satisfied smile when Gwen, ably assisted by Ravi, began to tease Jack about not being able to get through a day without his sweetheart.
Ianto forced his lips to remain pleasantly amused at the banter, making sure that the smile reached his eyes. He'd not hidden anything from Jack in quite some time, and he was chagrined to find out that it was still just as outwardly simple and inwardly taxing as it had ever been in their worst days.
And these weren't their worst days. Far from it, because now Ianto had spent more of his life with Jack than he had with anyone else, and more of his life at Torchwood than he had even at university. This place and its strange people and thankless work and more than occasional wonders was the shape of him now and he'd learned how to possess it as much as it possessed him, which made things with Jack a lot easier. Even almost, not that it really could be.
After everyone had dispersed to their allotted duties (and it took long enough, the newer team members vying for the affection of the adults – Jack and Gwen, really – with witticisms and barbs), he hurried back down to the Archives. This was probably the only time he could count on not being observed on the cctv; Ravi was the only other person staying in in the Hub for now, and he wouldn't be spying on Ianto when he was meant to be monitoring the others out in the field.
Ianto wasn't sure whether or not he wanted Jack to trip and fall over the TARDIS while he was out and about, but he supposed it didn't really matter since the Doctor had obviously had plenty of practice dodging Jack when necessary and presumably knew what he was doing. Ianto didn't have time to worry about it anyway.
After several hours of concerted effort, he gazed dispiritedly at the fruits of his labours. There were only three items that seemed to fit the criteria so far: one rust coloured bulbous object, origin unknown, a pearlescent spherical thing that had been classified as extra-galactic though little else was known about it, and something that looked like nothing so much as a enormous alien hazelnut. Except it was some strange shade of greenish brown and sort of knobbly.
By then Jack and the others had already returned, and Ianto was running out of time. And options. He gazed wildly around, looking for inspiration, and then his eyes fell on the bags he used to line the bins.
Needs must when the devil drives, he thought to himself, and began to bundle the objects in as carefully as he could.
When he got to his front door, there was a blue police box standing next to the building that most definitely hadn't been there when he'd left that morning.
Ianto took a deep breath and pulled back his hand to rap on the door, before someone tapped him on the shoulder. He started violently and then turned to face the Doctor.
"Has anyone ever suggested to you that you might be enjoying yourself just a bit too much?" he asked.
"It may have been mentioned," the Doctor said with a smile. "Once or twice. What've you got for me?"
Ianto held up the plastic bags. "Rubbish," he said.
"Wonderful!" the Doctor exclaimed, grabbed them and immediately started rummaging about in them to see what Ianto had found.
"Shouldn't we be doing this, well... not outside?"
"Why not?" the Doctor said, staring at the bulbous rust colored object.
"Because this stuff is alien and you suggested it was a big secret?"
"Oh, just from Jack," he said casually and picked up the object to lick it. He made a face.
"Aren't you not supposed to test things by tasting them?" Ianto asked, still feeling awkward and disturbed.
The Doctor shrugged and placed the object aside, reaching then for the pearlescent one. "Definitely not," he said, but then licked it anyway. "Yep, definitely, not."
Ianto sighed as he collected the two discarded objects and put them back into the plastic bags. He did not want to have to go back to the Hub and start searching again, especially for something he was increasingly certain wasn't actually there. Unless it was the hazelnut.
The last object the Doctor smiled at and turned over in his hands several times, seeming a bit wistful and pleased.
"What is it?" Ianto asked. He figured he could at least get some information out of the man in return for all this madness.
Completing the files on these objects would be some small recompense for his trouble and might go a bit of the way towards assuaging Jack when he eventually found out about all this. Because he would. Ianto was sure of it. Hell, Ianto was pretty sure he was going to tell him himself, just, not the details. It seemed safe enough.
The Doctor licked it, keeping his eyes on Ianto the entire time -- at least until he closed them and grinned.
"Look, I didn't agree to all of this so you could have dessert, sir."
"But this is it, Ianto. You're quite clever! I can see why Jack likes you."
"Does it taste good?" he asked, horrified, and still lagging behind in the conversation.
"No. Not particularly. Just as it should! Which is quite nice. And now you can go back to Jack with the knowledge your work is done."
"Doctor --"
"Be nice to him -- "
"Doctor!"
"You've probably made him worry quite a b--"
"Doctor!"
"What?" the other man asked, tucking the giant hazelnut-like thing under one arm.
"My work isn't done. I can't just let you go off with this without some sort of explanation."
The Doctor laughed. "Oh yes, you can."
"I can't. I owe it to Jack to make sure --"
"I told you, Jack can't know about this --"
"Fine, but if I'm going to betray him --"
"It's not betrayal, Ianto."
"It is to me. And I need to know I've done the right thing here, and I'm sorry if it bothers you that I don't think your vague assurances are enough."
"What, saving the world -- quite a few times, by the way -- isn't enough of a recommendation?"
"Two words, sir. Canary Wharf."
"And I've got one. Jack."
Ianto glared. "That doesn't entirely reflect well on you either."
"What! Oh you're not jealous, are --"
"I don't trust you. And I've done you a favour. So now I want one in return. Which is you show me what in the hell I've done."
"I can't," the Doctor said looking sad, apologetic and just a little bit pleased.
"You mean you won't. Sometimes I think Jack's thing for you is just because you're stubborn."
"Jack doesn't have a thing for me."
"You have got to be joking."
The Doctor laughed again, and Ianto thought about whether punching him would be effective, both in terms of getting what he wanted and just salving his irritation at this whole ridiculous situation. Because, for all intents and purposes, he was standing in front of his flat arguing with Jack's ex-lover about giant dessert nuts.
The universe clearly despised him.
"You don't really want to know," the Doctor pointed out. "And your logic doesn't really follow. What if I told you and you discovered, it wasn't, as you say, 'the right thing'? What would you do then? Not like you could undo it. Even with time travel, it doesn't work that way. You can't go back. There aren't do-overs. Well, not for you anyway. Takes a certain--"
"That doesn't mean you can't tell me what it is," Ianto exclaimed, cutting him off. "I can keep a secret. What I can't do is let you go off with Torchwood's property without any rhyme or reason. An explanation. Please. Something to let me sleep at night."
"You'd be amazed at what you can do if you try. It's not Torchwood's property. It was in Torchwood's care, perhaps, but it doesn't belong there. I'm returning it to its rightful owner, and now I ought to do the same with you."
Staring at the infuriatingly smug grin in front of him, Ianto sighed inwardly, and gave up. Jack would want him to trust the Doctor, he knew that. And upon reflection, Jack would probably be far more irate with him for keeping secrets than he would be for letting the Doctor take some object that had been moldering there for almost a century. And 'let' wasn't really the right term anyway. What could he possibly do to stop him, when it came down to it?
"I'm not a pet, you know," he said, still not willing to be gracious about it. "I haven't got an owner."
"Oh, you do. All of you. Property of Torchwood, a little tag, have I got it right? Dead or alive."
Ianto winced.
"S'not all bad," the Doctor said kindly. "At least you know where you belong. And I've said it before -- defending the earth, can't argue with th--" His voice broke off, and his head swiveled to look up the road.
Ianto looked in the same direction and distantly heard a familiar roar of an engine accelerating and drawing closer, the screech of tires grinding against ashphalt as they turned a corner.
"Hmm..." the Doctor said, cocking his head consideringly.
"Do you hear... it sounds like--"
"I think so, yes."
"It's Jack! What are we going to tell him?" Ianto asked, panicking, and knowing he was about to start hysterically babbling. "Someone must have seen us on the cctv. They must have contacted him. I told you we shouldn't have done this outside! Now what are we going to--"
"Ianto!" His voice cracked like a whip.
Ianto stopped speaking immediately, and stared at him, surprised to see that he was grinning maniacally.
The Doctor snapped his fingers once, sharply, and the door of the blue police box swung open.
Ianto's jaw dropped.
"Now then," he continued. "I'm only going to tell you this once."
Ianto could see the SUV barreling up the road now. It would be upon them in a matter of moments. He looked at the Doctor's grin and swallowed.
"Run!" the Doctor ordered, and suddenly they were both racing for the open door.
It slammed shut behind them, and the Doctor was pushing levers and turning dials in a mad frenzy. There was a viewscreen that showed his street, and in it, Ianto could see Jack leaping out of the car before the screen went to some screensaver that looked like odd spinning gears and wheels.
Ianto took a deep breath, feeling his knees go weak and wobbly. He looked around at the inside of the TARDIS, something he'd never thought to see. He'd never really dreamt of it either to be honest, but it looked like it was made of gold and coral, and it seemed alive. He gulped, feeling his brain hurt as he thought of its small, unassuming, blue wooden exterior.
"You can say it," the Doctor said expectantly. "Go on. It's..."
"Bigger on the inside?" Ianto finished feebly.
"Oh, yes! Got it in one. Welcome to the TARDIS."
He set the bag with the other two objects down on the floor beside him carefully. "It's amazing," Ianto said, unable to be anything but completely honest.
"Yeah, she is," the Doctor said, the fondness clear in his voice, as he stroked a lever. "Well, at least the Captain didn't leap on top of her this time. He can be taught. Who would've thought?"
Ianto swallowed. "So, where are you going to drop me off? Anywhere near Cardiff is fine. I can explain to Jack...why I can't explain to Jack."
"Well," the Doctor said, "why don't you open the door?"
"That was fast," Ianto said. He walked over to the door, and opened it. Then he felt his heart drop down to somewhere in the vicinity of his feet. Outside, was... space. Black and infinite and scattered with flaming stars. He stared out at the expanse and felt his stomach churn. All of this hugeness, and he so small and protected only by this tiny wooden box. The stars didn't twinkle like they did in the night sky; they blazed, unfettered by atmosphere.
He pulled the door shut and turned to look at the Doctor who was looking at him with an unreadable expression on his face.
"We're in space," Ianto said.
"Very good! You have a talent for stating the obvious," the Doctor remarked. "Edge of the Isop Galaxy, more precisely. Space is a big place. Now, why don't we have a cup of tea while I explain to you what I'd like you to do for me."
"I already did it."
"Part of it, yes. The first part. Now we're at the second part."
Ianto stared at him. "You didn't want me to come with you. How could you need me to do something else?" As he spoke, the penny finally dropped, and he sputtered, "You planned this. You... you... played me."
"Yeah. Sorry about that. But look on the bright side. Bit of an adventure all your own," the Doctor said, smiling. "Thought you might enjoy it."
"Are you mad?"
"No! Well, not really. A bit, maybe, but who's counting?"
"Take me back to earth this instant," Ianto said as calmly as he could, which wasn't very.
"Let's settle down," the Doctor suggested.
"Settle down! You kidnapped me! It's so petty! And so obvious! You want to get me away from Jack. You want to hurt him, again. Wasn't enough for you to leave him to rot and then tell him he's worthless, no. You have to come and kidnap me in a sodding Tesco for god's sake, and now he's thinking -- I don't even know what he's thinking! How could you? What kind of a person are you--"
"Quiet!" the Doctor's voice rang out, cutting him off.
Ianto's mouth shut with an audible snap. The silence in the room seemed to echo, and it was like nothing Ianto had ever encountered before. Suddenly, he felt very afraid. He'd been nervous before and irritated and put upon -- thinking about this fellow as just another bloke from Jack's past coming by to cause mayhem and trouble, and one too that Jack had... that Jack still loved.
It had been annoying, but not much more than that; in Torchwood, they dealt with aliens and Jack's chequered history all the time, and it was all in a day's work. Plus the Doctor's jokes and endless stream of babble didn't exactly cause one to quake in one's boots.
Only a few moments ago he'd been shaken to his core by the vastness of space just outside. He'd thought he'd been frightened then. But that was nothing compared to this moment because now... now he was staring into the Doctor's eyes, and it was like looking into the heart of a flame. He felt the inside of his mouth grow dry.
"Believe me," the Doctor said very distinctly and very steadily, "you don't want to know what kind of person I am."
At that moment, all Ianto could think of was the Doctor's file, back from the days of Torchwood One. He could see it in his mind's eye as clearly as if it were in front of him. The unassuming exterior, just like every other file folder really, labeled clearly and succinctly. The Doctor. Genus: Time Lord. And underneath, a single typeface line -- also called: The Destroyer of Worlds. The Bane of Nightmares. The Oncoming Storm. The Lonely God. Typical grandiose aliens, he had thought. And typical Torchwood. He had laughed with Lisa about it.
He wasn't laughing now.
There was another long pause, and then the Doctor spoke again. "But! We don't need to trouble ourselves with all that, now do we?"
Still bereft of words, Ianto shook his head slowly, as if the motion weren't quite up to him.
The Doctor's voice and manner gentled again. "Ianto," he said. "I'm sorry I tricked you. But I need you to do something for me. And you're going to have to trust me when I tell you that Jack would want it to be done. I promise you that. And I think, if he could know, that he'd want you to do it."
Ianto looked at him.
"But if you really don't want to, I suppose I can return you back home and try to find someone else."
"For your sake or for his?" Ianto asked.
"Sorry?"
"Jack wanting me to do it. For your sake or for his?"
The Doctor cocked his head to the side and thought about it for a moment, then smiled. "For the greater good," he said brightly. "This isn't about me, Ianto."
"I don't like you."
"Of course you don't! You work for Torchwood! But it's all rather besides the point now isn't it?"
"Can we get in touch with Jack or something?" Ianto asked reluctantly. "He's probably throwing a tantrum and disturbing my neighbors."
"Sorry. Nope. No can do. Give Jack a little bit of information ... and, well, you know how it goes, don't you?"
Ianto nodded.
"Plus, I'll have you back in.... three days! How's that?"
"Why three days?"
"Well, probably enough of a window to avoid a paradox. You and I... well, this might take just a little bit longer."
"How much longer?" Ianto asked nervously. What had been a couple months for Ianto when Jack had left with the Doctor had been, he knew, a year for Jack. An unspeakable year. Ianto found he really, really did not want to be gone that long, even if Jack would never know.
It wasn't just that he would miss Jack of course. Nor was it just that he couldn't wait to get away from this man who had caused so much trouble in his life and not just with Jack. It was also some odd conviction that Jack would know, even cold as he could be, and feel the ache of three hundred days in just three.
The Doctor shrugged. "I don't know. A week? Nothing serious. A week is nothing, Ianto Jones!"
"Says you," he muttered.
The Doctor laughed, and Ianto scowled, knowing he must have looked as petulant as he felt.
"Now," he said. "Why don't we talk about what you need to do?"
"Fine," Ianto ground out.
Continue to Part 2
Pairing/Characters: Jack/Ianto, Ten, +TW team, +sundry members of DW Cast
Authors:
rm & kalichanRating/Warning: NC-17, slash, plot, religion (!!), and porn.
Summary: Some people say goodbye and others say hello.
Wordcount: ~32,000 words, posted in five parts
Authors' Notes: This is the penultimate installment of our series, I Had No Idea I Had Been Traveling. The title is from a poem by Leonard Cohen; summary is, of course, courtesy The Beatles. Next up: the final installment of the main story arc, though we will be returning to the 'verse at some point after that for some digressions and interludes, and a DVD commentary! Just prior to this, we posted two prequels (one for Jack, and one for Ianto) which are fairly important to the conclusion of the series. They are numbered 8 & 9 in the links below if you'd like to catch up.
Previous installments:
1. A Strange Fashion of Forsaking | 2. Dear Captain, Last Night I Slept in Mutiny | 3. To Learn This Holding and the Holding Back | 4. The Most Beautiful Girl in the World | 5. I Imagine You Now in That Other City | 6. Many of My Favorite Things Are Broken | 6.5 Up, Down, Strange, Charm, Truth, Beauty: or, A Child's Guide to Modern Physics | 7. In Our Bedroom After the War | 8. And I Cannot Know How Long She Has Dreamed of All of You [Jack/Nine/Rose] | 9. The Spectacular Catastrophe of Your Endless Childhood [Ianto/OFCs, Ianto/Lisa]
While Tesco at 2pm on a Tuesday afternoon wasn't Ianto's idea of heaven, it was at least something he found remarkably pleasant. Not too crowded, mums and babies doing their grocery shops, and him getting to pretend he lived a normal life while stocking up on supplies for the Torchwood pantry.
Even if he didn't approve of all the supplies -- Ravi had appalling taste in caffeinated beverages, Andy ate far too much pot noodle, and Maeve preferred biscuits that were more butter than flour, while Gwen and Jack both always seemed to find some personal item or other to add to his list. It would have annoyed him had he not liked picking the things out and dumping them in his trolley and fantasizing about when he'd actually have time to to do the same on behalf of his own flat, not that he ever saw it enough for it to really matter.
Jack teased him about his fondness for the task, and Ianto found he didn't mind, not just because he had Jack's attention, but because he had Jack's understanding of the gap between what his life had once been and what Torchwood had made it.
Sometimes, a woman would smile at him, and whether it was civility or flirtation Ianto was never quite sure. He never thought about it too hard, though, because both notions held their own appeal. Regardless, he always told Jack it was flirtation but only because it pleased Jack inordinately to have an opportunity to make crass jokes about melons.
Today though, Ianto suspected he might have actual flirtation to tell Jack about as he became aware of someone standing far too close to him, almost as if they were trying to read over his shoulder, despite there being nothing to read. Afterall, Ianto didn't shop with a grocery list, he didn't need to.
Ianto pushed his trolley forward to give himself a bit more personal space as he perused the sandwich bread options, only to feel himself crowded again. At 2pm on a Tuesday that simply wasn't necessary, and so he turned to say just that.
The words died in his mouth.
"Oh. Hello!" the man he was now facing said brightly. No, not a man. The Doctor.
"A coincidence is too much to hope for, isn't it?" Ianto said, skipping any sense of preamble.
"No such thing as coincidence. Not for Time Lords. Good to finally see you again, Ianto."
"Jack's back at the Hub," he said, knowing he sounded petulant, but for him, the Doctor had always been trouble, on scales both large and small.
"What makes you think I'm here to see Jack?" the Doctor said cheerily before adding, "They have cinnamon raisin bread! Brilliant!" and slinging an arm around Ianto's shoulders.
Ianto wanted to bristle at the unwelcome touch, but he was distracted, abruptly, by understanding some of what Jack saw in this man, aside from an affection based on the most absurd and awful circumstances imaginable.
Sure, the Doctor was too thin, but he wasn't clumsy like anyone would have assumed just to look at him, and his fingers were long and lovely, and the smile made you want to laugh with him, but his eyes were serious and a little sad, like Jack's, and Ianto could see how easy it would be for someone who didn't know any better -- and Jack definitely never knew any better -- to fall down that well and drown. Ianto noticed all these things suddenly and helplessly, and hated himself for doing it.
"What?" the Doctor said, cocking an eyebrow. "You're looking at me oddly."
"You're touching me. In Tesco," Ianto replied, reaching up to straighten his tie.
The Doctor stepped back. "Sorry! I didn't know there was no touching in Tesco's," he said, looking around curiously.
Ianto sighed. "Are you here to refuel?"
"Nope. I'm here to see you."
Ianto bit off several replies he knew weren't remotely up to the standard of discomfort this whole situation was provoking in him. Jack, he thought, would know what to do. Jack, however, would also make the whole thing worse.
Ianto sighed and settled his hands on his hips. "Fine. Why?"
"Do I need a reason? Finish your shop, Ianto. I'll keep you company. You'll need some fruit, won't you? That lot you look after, they'd live on chips and pizzas and curries forever, if you weren't around. You know, there's a planet called Stow where they think you survive on buffalo wings! Of course, they think that the buffalo's some sort of mighty avian beast, so, you know."
Ianto, somewhat dazed by the flood of irrelevant information, allowed the Doctor to tug him along through the aisles.
"Look, nectarines!" the Doctor said happily, throwing a bag of them in the cart. "They used to think those were the bastard children of peaches and plums, but no, just a different kind of peach. Skin's not everything. You'll get there in the end. Mind you, when you lot - humans, you know -- get to mixing things, there's no telling where you end up. Brilliant, really. I met a tree once, who'd come from around here. Well, sort of. Root stock, anyway. Funny old world, isn't it? That's maybe one of her great-aunts, well, a few more greats than that, but--"
"Doctor --" Ianto tried to interrupt.
"What?" The Doctor stopped and turned to look at him.
"If you could just tell me what's going on."
"What makes you think there's something going on? Maybe I just wanted to have a look at you. Let's see. When are we now? There was that one time, a few years back for you, but it was through a screen and bit busy at the time, weren't we? Towing the earth and all. Jack's told me all about you of course, but --"
"He has?" Ianto interjected, not sure whether to be pleased or horrified by the thought.
"Well, sort of. Well, not really. Not yet. Mostly Martha, you remember Martha, don't you? We have a chat every so often. She keeps me filled in."
"Doctor," Ianto said, taking the bunch of bananas out of his hand and putting them back. "No one at Torchwood likes bananas. Could you tell me why you're here?"
"Bananas are lovely. How can you not like bananas? What's not to like?"
"Fine," Ianto said, giving up. "Look, I've got my mobile here, I'll just ring up Jack, and we can --"
"No," the Doctor said, suddenly sounding extremely serious. He reached out and seized Ianto's wrist, arresting his motion. Ianto thought distantly that the Doctor was stronger than he looked. "You can't."
"Why not?" he asked, trying to keep his voice as calm and level as possible.
"End of the world?" the Doctor offered, his voice cheery again.
"Is that a question?" he said weakly.
"Nope."
"Right. Of course. Listen, I'm going to need a little bit more than that, I'm afraid."
"You don't trust me, do you?" the Doctor said, his voice kind now.
Ianto thought for a moment. Then he said, "Jack trusts you. And I trust Jack."
"Like a syllogism? If a equals b and b equals c, then a equals c. An equation of trust. Or is it like a game of chinese whispers? Diluted by repetition till the original meaning is quite lost? Which is it, Ianto Jones?"
Ianto took a deep breath. "Sir. I am trying to understand what's happening here. You've come up to me in the middle of a midday shopping excursion for what is undoubtedly some sort of life or death reason. You've told me not to get in touch with, for lack of a better term, my commanding officer. I don't know how you expect me to react, but I think you probably know that none of these things are combining to make me feel very comfortable."
The Doctor smiled. "Well, then. I need you to do me a favour. And I need you to do it without telling anyone at Torchwood what you're doing. Especially -- and you knew this was coming, didn't you? -- my old friend Jack. Do you think you can do that?"
"I'm not going to betray Jack, Doctor. Or Torchwood. I don't know why you thought --"
"Would I ask you to do something like that?"
"That's what it sounds like."
"I wouldn't. Jack's not always got the best sense, and Torchwood can be an imperialistic bunch of trigger happy --"
"Doctor!"
"Anyway. No. No betrayal necessary. Not this time," the Doctor said, pointedly, and Ianto felt his fists clench. Who knew what the Doctor knew about him? Or what Jack had told him? "Suppose I did let you ring up Jack?” he continued. “And suppose you told him that I was here, and I needed you to do me a favour, but we couldn't tell him what it was, what d'you think he'd tell you to do?"
Ianto paused. "He'd tell me to do whatever you said. No questions asked."
The Doctor looked at him expectantly.
Ianto sighed. And then nodded.
"Good!" The Doctor smiled, and tossed an apple up into the air, before catching it and taking a bite out of it.
"You're supposed to pay for those first," Ianto said wearily.
"Maybe I already did," the Doctor said, grinning. "Time traveler, remember?"
Ianto shook his head. "Do you think Jack's right to trust you so much?" he asked idly and watched as the Doctor's face wiped clean of all expression.
"Told you, didn't I? He's not always got the best sense. Still, we work with what we have, eh?"
Ianto almost felt guilty but then the Doctor was smiling again.
"Let's finish up your list, shall we? You're going to want to get some biscuits, aren't you?"
"I don't have a list," Ianto said.
"You don't have a list written down," the Doctor corrected him. "Biscuits? Chocolate covered? And some bar chocolate for your pteranodon?"
"Right," Ianto said. "And then maybe you could tell me what you want me to --"
"Right! Yes! So. You know that there's one end of a Rift through space and time going through Cardiff. Of course you do, you work on the thing day and night. It's not the only one, you know -- there was one in the Medusa Cascade, you remember being there, don't you? -- and then another beautiful one, near this planet called Kaesov, but that's neither here nor there. Anyway. The other end, it sort of, well.... floats about, doesn't it? Sometimes you get things from the past, the future, other planets, other galaxies... am I right?"
"Yes," Ianto agreed, not seeing where this was going.
"Well. A friend of mine's lost something rather important. And I need to get it back to him. I've got reason to believe that it came through the Rift and ended up -- here."
"Okay," Ianto said. "What is it?"
"Oh, I can't tell you that," the Doctor said, as if it were obvious.
"When did it come through?"
"I can't tell you that either."
"Is there anything you can tell me?"
"Of course," the Doctor said cheerfully. "It'll look sort of like an enormous seed, about a foot in diameter? And it came through somewhere in the last century. Can't be more precise than that, I'm afraid. And without you, Ianto Jones, one of two things will happen. Either it'll languish there forever, and my friend will be very, very sad, or... well, it'll hatch. And let's just say, that won't be good."
"Where did it come from?"
"Far into your future," the Doctor said, flinging a few bars of dark chocolate into the trolley. "Very far."
"So, if it were going to, what was it, hatch, wouldn't you know that it had?"
"Clever lad. But no, since you're going to help me, luckily we won't have to find out. Great Cobalt Pyramid still standing, universe not dissolving in paradox and all that."
"Great Cobalt Pyramid?"
"Well, Torchwood stands a good long time, but you don't expect it to last forever, do you? Everything ends. Look. Here's what I need you to do. Go into those Archives of yours, find this thing, and then bring it to me. I'll take it off your hands and Bob's your uncle. Easy as pie. Just do it without letting Jack or any of your other colleagues seeing you. All right?"
"You haven't given me very much to go on," Ianto protested, grasping at just one of his many objections to this plan. "What if there are a whole lot of things that all look alike? How am I supposed to know which one it is?"
"Bring them all; I'll know it when I see it. I can't have the Captain seeing me here. He'll want to help, and that, that'll just make things worse. Much worse. And you know Jack, once he's got his teeth into an idea. Once he knocked my TARDIS all the way to the end of the universe. Could've killed him. And it did, now that I think of it. Just didn't stick. Slippery man, your Captain. Anyway. You'll be fine -- quite good at sneaking things in and out of the Hub, aren't you?"
Ianto blushed furiously. There were so many things the Doctor could have been referring to there, and none of them were things Ianto wanted him to know about.
"Are you all right?" Jack asked laying a hand between Ianto's shoulders and smoothing it down to the small of his back. "You seem tense."
"Yeah, I -- " Ianto paused and licked his lips. He hadn't even thought of a lie, he'd been so eager just to get back and either away from what the Doctor wanted or done with it. And now here was Jack, crowding him as ever in the pantry.
Jack made an interrogative noise and quirked his head, like he was actually concerned, which Ianto supposed he was.
He took a deep breath and turned, shrugging away from Jack's touch in the process. "I ran into someone I used to know. When I was a kid," he said. "It was strange."
"Did you tell him about me?" Jack teased.
"Her," Ianto said, as if correcting the so-called facts could make them true. Then he looked Jack in the eye. "Yes."
Jack smiled in a way that was small and warm, and Ianto tried to do the same, although it felt awkward on his face, not that, that was anything new.
"Maybe we'll have a quiet night tonight," Jack offered.
"I'd like that," he said, and felt his own smile widen, become natural, even as he had a terrible feeling it wasn't going to be a quiet night at all, at least not for him and Jack, assuming he found this thing without too much trouble. And he wanted to. Whatever this sin was, he wanted to commit it quick.
When Jack finally stepped out of his space and left him to prepare the afternoon coffee and biscuits because someone had to and Andy was intolerable if his blood sugar got low, Ianto reminded himself not to sigh. Someone might see it on the CCTV, and he didn't want that now or later, when he was hopefully done with this.
He was unsure enough about what he was doing, without having to justify it to other people, and that was wrong too, because he wasn't meant to keep secrets. Bad things happened when he did, as Jack had tried to hammer into his head so long ago, even if he and Gwen were the only ones who remembered now. But he was committed, and if a thing was going to be done, it was worth doing well.
The search was, he decided, going to have to be manual. It would be easy enough to fix the camera in the Archives to a single recording loop which would hide the physical evidence of his search. He didn't want files to trace back to his hunt, and he figured he could manage with just his brain and his hands. Probably.
Certainly, he could rule out the period of time he'd worked at Torchwood, because he didn't remember the thing. And he could rule out the decades of files he'd managed to reorganize -- at least for now -- as he was fairly certain nothing of that ilk had shown up there either. Similarly, he was going to save anything from the millennium until his own arrival at Torchwood for the last part of his search. From what the Doctor said, Jack finding this thing would have been bad, which implied it hadn't arrived while Jack was in charge. Ianto hoped.
Of course, Ianto hoped a lot of things. Like that the damn seed was actually in the archives and hadn't just appeared in some sub-basement tunnel they didn't even know about. He also hoped it hadn't been eaten by either a weevil or Myfanwy, although neither seemed particularly fond of vegetarian meal options. Assuming it was a plant, of course. The Doctor said it looked like a seed. But since when did seeds hatch?
Ianto ran a hand through his hair. He'd work through the afternoon meeting, let Jack think he was still in a mood from the supposed Tesco encounter. After all, he rather was.
"Where's Ianto?" Jack asked, looking around the table.
Ravi shrugged, Andy slid his eyes to Gwen, Gwen looked around the table as if he might be hiding in plain sight and Maeve finally spoke.
"Archives, I think."
"Doing what?" Jack asked, annoyed not to have something pleasant to look at that would actually sleep with him present at the meeting. This hiring straight boys and lesbians thing had to stop.
"Filing, I assume. He's calculated that it takes 2.7 months of uninterrupted 35 hour weeks to correctly re-organize one year of the archives. Since there are no uninterrupted 35 hour weeks to be had...."
"Right, can we not measure Ianto's life expectancy in files?" Jack said, cutting her off, and reaching to tap his com. "Ianto! Where are you? Meeting."
"Files," Ianto replied dryly, sounding a bit miserable. "Do you need me?"
Jack grinned. "I always need you, Ianto."
"Yes, sir," Ianto's voice came through the speaker after an infinitesimal pause. Jack thought about trying to hide his smirk at Ianto's attempt to sound professional, but frankly, not very hard. "Be right there, sir."
Jack clicked off, and looked around the table. "Now that is what I like to hear. So, what have we got today?"
He hadn't really been needed at that meeting, but Ianto didn't allow himself much by way of protest when it was over other than the expected self-satisfied smile when Gwen, ably assisted by Ravi, began to tease Jack about not being able to get through a day without his sweetheart.
Ianto forced his lips to remain pleasantly amused at the banter, making sure that the smile reached his eyes. He'd not hidden anything from Jack in quite some time, and he was chagrined to find out that it was still just as outwardly simple and inwardly taxing as it had ever been in their worst days.
And these weren't their worst days. Far from it, because now Ianto had spent more of his life with Jack than he had with anyone else, and more of his life at Torchwood than he had even at university. This place and its strange people and thankless work and more than occasional wonders was the shape of him now and he'd learned how to possess it as much as it possessed him, which made things with Jack a lot easier. Even almost, not that it really could be.
After everyone had dispersed to their allotted duties (and it took long enough, the newer team members vying for the affection of the adults – Jack and Gwen, really – with witticisms and barbs), he hurried back down to the Archives. This was probably the only time he could count on not being observed on the cctv; Ravi was the only other person staying in in the Hub for now, and he wouldn't be spying on Ianto when he was meant to be monitoring the others out in the field.
Ianto wasn't sure whether or not he wanted Jack to trip and fall over the TARDIS while he was out and about, but he supposed it didn't really matter since the Doctor had obviously had plenty of practice dodging Jack when necessary and presumably knew what he was doing. Ianto didn't have time to worry about it anyway.
After several hours of concerted effort, he gazed dispiritedly at the fruits of his labours. There were only three items that seemed to fit the criteria so far: one rust coloured bulbous object, origin unknown, a pearlescent spherical thing that had been classified as extra-galactic though little else was known about it, and something that looked like nothing so much as a enormous alien hazelnut. Except it was some strange shade of greenish brown and sort of knobbly.
By then Jack and the others had already returned, and Ianto was running out of time. And options. He gazed wildly around, looking for inspiration, and then his eyes fell on the bags he used to line the bins.
Needs must when the devil drives, he thought to himself, and began to bundle the objects in as carefully as he could.
When he got to his front door, there was a blue police box standing next to the building that most definitely hadn't been there when he'd left that morning.
Ianto took a deep breath and pulled back his hand to rap on the door, before someone tapped him on the shoulder. He started violently and then turned to face the Doctor.
"Has anyone ever suggested to you that you might be enjoying yourself just a bit too much?" he asked.
"It may have been mentioned," the Doctor said with a smile. "Once or twice. What've you got for me?"
Ianto held up the plastic bags. "Rubbish," he said.
"Wonderful!" the Doctor exclaimed, grabbed them and immediately started rummaging about in them to see what Ianto had found.
"Shouldn't we be doing this, well... not outside?"
"Why not?" the Doctor said, staring at the bulbous rust colored object.
"Because this stuff is alien and you suggested it was a big secret?"
"Oh, just from Jack," he said casually and picked up the object to lick it. He made a face.
"Aren't you not supposed to test things by tasting them?" Ianto asked, still feeling awkward and disturbed.
The Doctor shrugged and placed the object aside, reaching then for the pearlescent one. "Definitely not," he said, but then licked it anyway. "Yep, definitely, not."
Ianto sighed as he collected the two discarded objects and put them back into the plastic bags. He did not want to have to go back to the Hub and start searching again, especially for something he was increasingly certain wasn't actually there. Unless it was the hazelnut.
The last object the Doctor smiled at and turned over in his hands several times, seeming a bit wistful and pleased.
"What is it?" Ianto asked. He figured he could at least get some information out of the man in return for all this madness.
Completing the files on these objects would be some small recompense for his trouble and might go a bit of the way towards assuaging Jack when he eventually found out about all this. Because he would. Ianto was sure of it. Hell, Ianto was pretty sure he was going to tell him himself, just, not the details. It seemed safe enough.
The Doctor licked it, keeping his eyes on Ianto the entire time -- at least until he closed them and grinned.
"Look, I didn't agree to all of this so you could have dessert, sir."
"But this is it, Ianto. You're quite clever! I can see why Jack likes you."
"Does it taste good?" he asked, horrified, and still lagging behind in the conversation.
"No. Not particularly. Just as it should! Which is quite nice. And now you can go back to Jack with the knowledge your work is done."
"Doctor --"
"Be nice to him -- "
"Doctor!"
"You've probably made him worry quite a b--"
"Doctor!"
"What?" the other man asked, tucking the giant hazelnut-like thing under one arm.
"My work isn't done. I can't just let you go off with this without some sort of explanation."
The Doctor laughed. "Oh yes, you can."
"I can't. I owe it to Jack to make sure --"
"I told you, Jack can't know about this --"
"Fine, but if I'm going to betray him --"
"It's not betrayal, Ianto."
"It is to me. And I need to know I've done the right thing here, and I'm sorry if it bothers you that I don't think your vague assurances are enough."
"What, saving the world -- quite a few times, by the way -- isn't enough of a recommendation?"
"Two words, sir. Canary Wharf."
"And I've got one. Jack."
Ianto glared. "That doesn't entirely reflect well on you either."
"What! Oh you're not jealous, are --"
"I don't trust you. And I've done you a favour. So now I want one in return. Which is you show me what in the hell I've done."
"I can't," the Doctor said looking sad, apologetic and just a little bit pleased.
"You mean you won't. Sometimes I think Jack's thing for you is just because you're stubborn."
"Jack doesn't have a thing for me."
"You have got to be joking."
The Doctor laughed again, and Ianto thought about whether punching him would be effective, both in terms of getting what he wanted and just salving his irritation at this whole ridiculous situation. Because, for all intents and purposes, he was standing in front of his flat arguing with Jack's ex-lover about giant dessert nuts.
The universe clearly despised him.
"You don't really want to know," the Doctor pointed out. "And your logic doesn't really follow. What if I told you and you discovered, it wasn't, as you say, 'the right thing'? What would you do then? Not like you could undo it. Even with time travel, it doesn't work that way. You can't go back. There aren't do-overs. Well, not for you anyway. Takes a certain--"
"That doesn't mean you can't tell me what it is," Ianto exclaimed, cutting him off. "I can keep a secret. What I can't do is let you go off with Torchwood's property without any rhyme or reason. An explanation. Please. Something to let me sleep at night."
"You'd be amazed at what you can do if you try. It's not Torchwood's property. It was in Torchwood's care, perhaps, but it doesn't belong there. I'm returning it to its rightful owner, and now I ought to do the same with you."
Staring at the infuriatingly smug grin in front of him, Ianto sighed inwardly, and gave up. Jack would want him to trust the Doctor, he knew that. And upon reflection, Jack would probably be far more irate with him for keeping secrets than he would be for letting the Doctor take some object that had been moldering there for almost a century. And 'let' wasn't really the right term anyway. What could he possibly do to stop him, when it came down to it?
"I'm not a pet, you know," he said, still not willing to be gracious about it. "I haven't got an owner."
"Oh, you do. All of you. Property of Torchwood, a little tag, have I got it right? Dead or alive."
Ianto winced.
"S'not all bad," the Doctor said kindly. "At least you know where you belong. And I've said it before -- defending the earth, can't argue with th--" His voice broke off, and his head swiveled to look up the road.
Ianto looked in the same direction and distantly heard a familiar roar of an engine accelerating and drawing closer, the screech of tires grinding against ashphalt as they turned a corner.
"Hmm..." the Doctor said, cocking his head consideringly.
"Do you hear... it sounds like--"
"I think so, yes."
"It's Jack! What are we going to tell him?" Ianto asked, panicking, and knowing he was about to start hysterically babbling. "Someone must have seen us on the cctv. They must have contacted him. I told you we shouldn't have done this outside! Now what are we going to--"
"Ianto!" His voice cracked like a whip.
Ianto stopped speaking immediately, and stared at him, surprised to see that he was grinning maniacally.
The Doctor snapped his fingers once, sharply, and the door of the blue police box swung open.
Ianto's jaw dropped.
"Now then," he continued. "I'm only going to tell you this once."
Ianto could see the SUV barreling up the road now. It would be upon them in a matter of moments. He looked at the Doctor's grin and swallowed.
"Run!" the Doctor ordered, and suddenly they were both racing for the open door.
It slammed shut behind them, and the Doctor was pushing levers and turning dials in a mad frenzy. There was a viewscreen that showed his street, and in it, Ianto could see Jack leaping out of the car before the screen went to some screensaver that looked like odd spinning gears and wheels.
Ianto took a deep breath, feeling his knees go weak and wobbly. He looked around at the inside of the TARDIS, something he'd never thought to see. He'd never really dreamt of it either to be honest, but it looked like it was made of gold and coral, and it seemed alive. He gulped, feeling his brain hurt as he thought of its small, unassuming, blue wooden exterior.
"You can say it," the Doctor said expectantly. "Go on. It's..."
"Bigger on the inside?" Ianto finished feebly.
"Oh, yes! Got it in one. Welcome to the TARDIS."
He set the bag with the other two objects down on the floor beside him carefully. "It's amazing," Ianto said, unable to be anything but completely honest.
"Yeah, she is," the Doctor said, the fondness clear in his voice, as he stroked a lever. "Well, at least the Captain didn't leap on top of her this time. He can be taught. Who would've thought?"
Ianto swallowed. "So, where are you going to drop me off? Anywhere near Cardiff is fine. I can explain to Jack...why I can't explain to Jack."
"Well," the Doctor said, "why don't you open the door?"
"That was fast," Ianto said. He walked over to the door, and opened it. Then he felt his heart drop down to somewhere in the vicinity of his feet. Outside, was... space. Black and infinite and scattered with flaming stars. He stared out at the expanse and felt his stomach churn. All of this hugeness, and he so small and protected only by this tiny wooden box. The stars didn't twinkle like they did in the night sky; they blazed, unfettered by atmosphere.
He pulled the door shut and turned to look at the Doctor who was looking at him with an unreadable expression on his face.
"We're in space," Ianto said.
"Very good! You have a talent for stating the obvious," the Doctor remarked. "Edge of the Isop Galaxy, more precisely. Space is a big place. Now, why don't we have a cup of tea while I explain to you what I'd like you to do for me."
"I already did it."
"Part of it, yes. The first part. Now we're at the second part."
Ianto stared at him. "You didn't want me to come with you. How could you need me to do something else?" As he spoke, the penny finally dropped, and he sputtered, "You planned this. You... you... played me."
"Yeah. Sorry about that. But look on the bright side. Bit of an adventure all your own," the Doctor said, smiling. "Thought you might enjoy it."
"Are you mad?"
"No! Well, not really. A bit, maybe, but who's counting?"
"Take me back to earth this instant," Ianto said as calmly as he could, which wasn't very.
"Let's settle down," the Doctor suggested.
"Settle down! You kidnapped me! It's so petty! And so obvious! You want to get me away from Jack. You want to hurt him, again. Wasn't enough for you to leave him to rot and then tell him he's worthless, no. You have to come and kidnap me in a sodding Tesco for god's sake, and now he's thinking -- I don't even know what he's thinking! How could you? What kind of a person are you--"
"Quiet!" the Doctor's voice rang out, cutting him off.
Ianto's mouth shut with an audible snap. The silence in the room seemed to echo, and it was like nothing Ianto had ever encountered before. Suddenly, he felt very afraid. He'd been nervous before and irritated and put upon -- thinking about this fellow as just another bloke from Jack's past coming by to cause mayhem and trouble, and one too that Jack had... that Jack still loved.
It had been annoying, but not much more than that; in Torchwood, they dealt with aliens and Jack's chequered history all the time, and it was all in a day's work. Plus the Doctor's jokes and endless stream of babble didn't exactly cause one to quake in one's boots.
Only a few moments ago he'd been shaken to his core by the vastness of space just outside. He'd thought he'd been frightened then. But that was nothing compared to this moment because now... now he was staring into the Doctor's eyes, and it was like looking into the heart of a flame. He felt the inside of his mouth grow dry.
"Believe me," the Doctor said very distinctly and very steadily, "you don't want to know what kind of person I am."
At that moment, all Ianto could think of was the Doctor's file, back from the days of Torchwood One. He could see it in his mind's eye as clearly as if it were in front of him. The unassuming exterior, just like every other file folder really, labeled clearly and succinctly. The Doctor. Genus: Time Lord. And underneath, a single typeface line -- also called: The Destroyer of Worlds. The Bane of Nightmares. The Oncoming Storm. The Lonely God. Typical grandiose aliens, he had thought. And typical Torchwood. He had laughed with Lisa about it.
He wasn't laughing now.
There was another long pause, and then the Doctor spoke again. "But! We don't need to trouble ourselves with all that, now do we?"
Still bereft of words, Ianto shook his head slowly, as if the motion weren't quite up to him.
The Doctor's voice and manner gentled again. "Ianto," he said. "I'm sorry I tricked you. But I need you to do something for me. And you're going to have to trust me when I tell you that Jack would want it to be done. I promise you that. And I think, if he could know, that he'd want you to do it."
Ianto looked at him.
"But if you really don't want to, I suppose I can return you back home and try to find someone else."
"For your sake or for his?" Ianto asked.
"Sorry?"
"Jack wanting me to do it. For your sake or for his?"
The Doctor cocked his head to the side and thought about it for a moment, then smiled. "For the greater good," he said brightly. "This isn't about me, Ianto."
"I don't like you."
"Of course you don't! You work for Torchwood! But it's all rather besides the point now isn't it?"
"Can we get in touch with Jack or something?" Ianto asked reluctantly. "He's probably throwing a tantrum and disturbing my neighbors."
"Sorry. Nope. No can do. Give Jack a little bit of information ... and, well, you know how it goes, don't you?"
Ianto nodded.
"Plus, I'll have you back in.... three days! How's that?"
"Why three days?"
"Well, probably enough of a window to avoid a paradox. You and I... well, this might take just a little bit longer."
"How much longer?" Ianto asked nervously. What had been a couple months for Ianto when Jack had left with the Doctor had been, he knew, a year for Jack. An unspeakable year. Ianto found he really, really did not want to be gone that long, even if Jack would never know.
It wasn't just that he would miss Jack of course. Nor was it just that he couldn't wait to get away from this man who had caused so much trouble in his life and not just with Jack. It was also some odd conviction that Jack would know, even cold as he could be, and feel the ache of three hundred days in just three.
The Doctor shrugged. "I don't know. A week? Nothing serious. A week is nothing, Ianto Jones!"
"Says you," he muttered.
The Doctor laughed, and Ianto scowled, knowing he must have looked as petulant as he felt.
"Now," he said. "Why don't we talk about what you need to do?"
"Fine," Ianto ground out.
Continue to Part 2
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2008-12-24 08:19 am (UTC)Oh, and, um... it's either a foot in diameter, or a cubic foot in volume.
(no subject)
Date: 2008-12-24 04:00 pm (UTC)Thank you so much. I hope we didn't tire you out too much!
(no subject)
Date: 2008-12-24 04:33 pm (UTC)So glad you like the Doctor -- we had an immense amount of fun writing him -- and hope you enjoy the rest/aren't too tired!
(no subject)
Date: 2008-12-24 10:39 am (UTC)*scurries off to read the next parts*
(no subject)
Date: 2008-12-24 04:00 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-12-24 10:55 pm (UTC)Not that I've opened any other of my christmas presents, so this might be an overstatement, but still: 9 thumbs up!
(no subject)
Date: 2008-12-24 10:58 pm (UTC)*rolls eyes at the crap in her head*
(no subject)
Date: 2008-12-24 11:14 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-12-24 04:33 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-12-24 10:54 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-12-24 10:55 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-12-24 04:35 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-12-24 04:37 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-12-24 09:30 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-12-24 10:07 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-12-24 04:41 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-12-28 03:22 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-12-24 07:21 pm (UTC)LOL! *snort*
That is soooooooooooo Jack!
(no subject)
Date: 2008-12-24 07:24 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-12-24 07:37 pm (UTC)I also relate to the comment! I've sat around and thought that it would be nice to work with fewer straight women and gay boys! LOL!
(no subject)
Date: 2008-12-24 10:08 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-12-26 01:10 pm (UTC)But since time in this 'verse is not linear I thought I'd follow the Doctor and just start at the beginning of a BRILLIANT story and hop on back to the others later. I hope that's OK.
Too many great lines to quote, but for some reason, touching in Tescos just keeps making me laugh. I hate grocery shopping, but I'd like it better if i got groped by 9 in the bread aisle (I have no shame and am a sucker for blue eyed blondes).
(no subject)
Date: 2008-12-27 02:20 am (UTC)Thank you for your enthusiasm. More responses later (I've flown today and have had no sleep, so later may mean, like tomorrow).
(no subject)
Date: 2008-12-27 06:31 am (UTC)I want to be groped by the Doctor in the bread aisle too, but he doesn't seem to come to the States too often sadly ;-)
Thank you again for reading and commenting! It's so lovely to get such awesome detailed feedback. Makes our day, seriously.
(no subject)
Date: 2008-12-28 03:19 pm (UTC)There are times that I like my Multiple Sclerosis pseudo-altzheimer's memory (I can rewatch films without remembering the endings), there are times like this that it sucks. Ravi? Andy? Who? *confused*
*goes to read the rest*
(no subject)
Date: 2008-12-28 04:55 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-12-29 10:49 am (UTC)Couple of Britpicks if you don't mind? Not "a Tesco" - "in Tesco", it's just one of those weird phrasing things. Same thing would apply to Sainsbury's or Waitrose or Safeway or Morrison's - they're chain stores, but only referred to by their name, rather than their instance. And "Finish your shop" should very probably be "Finish your shopping" - again, phraseology!
(no subject)
Date: 2008-12-29 05:06 pm (UTC)re: Doctor, we had a fabulous time writing him, so thank you for that in particular. *g*
re: Britpicks, thank you for your keen eye. I'll fix the Tesco. Regarding the "shop/shopping" thing... too funny! My British relatives say "shop". We say shopping here in the States. *is puzzled*
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-01 02:56 pm (UTC)Moving on to part 2!
Congrats for the runner-up status at CoT. You should have won, methinks, but then, I didn't read the competition in the Torchwood rounds, so no real idea. Only that this is still one of my favorite things ever read, and even if all those reviews burned me out for a bit, it was worth it if it meant I found this.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-02 08:17 am (UTC)re: CoT Awards - Thank you! Reading your reviews was a great pleasure for me, and I found lots of great stories from your recs, so that was pretty delightful, and getting new & awesome readers -- such as yourself -- is, quite frankly, the absolute best part of it all. On to your next comment!
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-02 08:19 am (UTC)