Writing sex: a confession
Jan. 21st, 2009 01:26 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fictionalIt may come as a surprise to those of you who read IHNIIHBT, which is sort of a pornographic epic, but I greatly dislike writing sex.
No, really.
I hate it a lot. Which is funny because lately, we've been doing a lot of it.
Don't get me wrong. I love that our story is so filthy and x-rated. In fact, sometimes I even think it could stand to be filthier. I like reading sex. Oh man, do I. Porn, for me, is a primarily written-word driven thing, and it was that way long before I discovered fandom and its box of erotic delights. Think reading bodice-rippers and skimming my way through Tess of the D'Urbervilles at seven, desperately (and unsuccessfully, fuck you, Thomas Hardy) searching for the dirty bits...! Flipping through the Mists of Avalon for the threesome scene, etc. etc.
But writing it? A resounding "feh!"
For one thing, it's really hard [no pun intended]. Sex is repetitive. We have a finite number of moving parts, we have a finite number of slots for those parts to fit into. We tweak, we stroke, we push, we pull, we slap, we tickle; we get wet, we get hard. It feels great, except when it doesn't. And if you add in too many adverbs and adjectives -- you run the risk of sounding like a romance novel, a bad romance novel.
I don't know about you, but I have sex in my head. If my brain isn't getting off, I can spasm all I want, but I haven't come. It's no good to me without the brainfuck. There's an internal narrative always going on -- which mirrors to varying degrees what's actually happening in the physical, corporeal world. Sometimes, the degree is zero. Things I would never do "for real", things I would find actively offensive or disturbing if I weren't in bed, and believing that the things people imagine or play at in order to find pleasure are all perfectly okay.1
Thing is, when you're writing, the characters can't have internal narratives, unrelated to what's around them, because they're already in a narrative! Hell, they are the narrative. And of what interest to the reader -- who's using your story to furnish their own fantasy about say, Jack and Ianto -- is an internal, unrelated narrative that the character might possibly be having, if they were real? My feeling is, generally speaking, probably not much. Because that's like being OOC on purpose, and no one wants to see that, right?
So there's ways around it. Hence: dirty talk, d/s, drag, s & m, 3somes -- all games that are all about the stories you tell yourself. Narratives embraced and imposed.
But. I have to wonder, what are the fantasies of fantasies? What are the stories that stories whisper to themselves in the dark, or the ones they hold tightly to themselves, too ashamed even to say out loud?
Because that? That might be hot.
1That's what I tell myself anyway. Rationalizations: more important than sex. Think about it. Ever made it through a day without a rationalization? Yeah..
No, really.
I hate it a lot. Which is funny because lately, we've been doing a lot of it.
Don't get me wrong. I love that our story is so filthy and x-rated. In fact, sometimes I even think it could stand to be filthier. I like reading sex. Oh man, do I. Porn, for me, is a primarily written-word driven thing, and it was that way long before I discovered fandom and its box of erotic delights. Think reading bodice-rippers and skimming my way through Tess of the D'Urbervilles at seven, desperately (and unsuccessfully, fuck you, Thomas Hardy) searching for the dirty bits...! Flipping through the Mists of Avalon for the threesome scene, etc. etc.
But writing it? A resounding "feh!"
For one thing, it's really hard [no pun intended]. Sex is repetitive. We have a finite number of moving parts, we have a finite number of slots for those parts to fit into. We tweak, we stroke, we push, we pull, we slap, we tickle; we get wet, we get hard. It feels great, except when it doesn't. And if you add in too many adverbs and adjectives -- you run the risk of sounding like a romance novel, a bad romance novel.
I don't know about you, but I have sex in my head. If my brain isn't getting off, I can spasm all I want, but I haven't come. It's no good to me without the brainfuck. There's an internal narrative always going on -- which mirrors to varying degrees what's actually happening in the physical, corporeal world. Sometimes, the degree is zero. Things I would never do "for real", things I would find actively offensive or disturbing if I weren't in bed, and believing that the things people imagine or play at in order to find pleasure are all perfectly okay.1
Thing is, when you're writing, the characters can't have internal narratives, unrelated to what's around them, because they're already in a narrative! Hell, they are the narrative. And of what interest to the reader -- who's using your story to furnish their own fantasy about say, Jack and Ianto -- is an internal, unrelated narrative that the character might possibly be having, if they were real? My feeling is, generally speaking, probably not much. Because that's like being OOC on purpose, and no one wants to see that, right?
So there's ways around it. Hence: dirty talk, d/s, drag, s & m, 3somes -- all games that are all about the stories you tell yourself. Narratives embraced and imposed.
But. I have to wonder, what are the fantasies of fantasies? What are the stories that stories whisper to themselves in the dark, or the ones they hold tightly to themselves, too ashamed even to say out loud?
Because that? That might be hot.
1That's what I tell myself anyway. Rationalizations: more important than sex. Think about it. Ever made it through a day without a rationalization? Yeah..
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(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-21 05:10 pm (UTC)I grok you on the limited numbers of parts, etc, and this is why threesomes, dirty games, etc are nessecary. Funnily enough, I feel that way about actual sex in life, too! I help myself these days by refocusing my brain on what's happening so I don't start thinking too much-i.e., "Mmmm...lipslipssuckingwetsmellingreallygood." It's like the CNN news ticker that scrolls across the bottom of the screen! That, or I just say any filthy thing that comes into my head. I really like dirty talking for keeping my intellectual mind busy while the body enjoys ;)
Of course, neither of these solutions work in prose, but let me just say that your scenes are awesome, so stop worrying about it-not pontificating on it, because this post is total gold-but don't worry. You and rm write very, very sexy. And write WELL when writing sexy-extension of the story and all that a la the best sex scenes on QaF!
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-21 05:42 pm (UTC)Oh, you know me so well. But yeah, 85% of the reason I like to bottom is because I'm bad at coming up with shit.
just say any filthy thing that comes into my head. I really like dirty talking for keeping my intellectual mind busy while the body enjoys ;)
I like it for that reason too, but you know, I don't talk. I just listen. D. is some kind of saint for putting up with me, I swear.
And thanks! For a wonder, I actually wasn't worried. I'm pretty comfortable with the hotness of our sex scenes. I just thought it was interesting -- the way I feel that characters can't have fantasies because they are fantasies. Although other folk seem to think there's a way of doing it, and I anxiously await results.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-23 01:56 am (UTC)But. I have to wonder, what are the fantasies of fantasies? What are the stories that stories whisper to themselves in the dark, or the ones they hold tightly to themselves, too ashamed even to say out loud?
The best characters are the ones that get out of the author's control, that start demanding things and wanting things and doing things the author didn't have in mind. I haven't written fiction in years now (which makes me sad), but I still remember that awe I felt when characters took their stories somewhere I didn't expect.
Perhaps fantasies fantasize about reality, what it would be like to be flesh.
A friend and I have been collecting novels and films about people entering book world or book world becoming real. I'm thinking but not being very articulate, so I may come back to this thought about the fantasy of fantasies.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-23 05:02 am (UTC)That's lovely.
In some ways, that's what we do, right? Ficcers? We take the fantasy, and try to give it flesh. Okay, so he lives forever? What is that like? Okay, so suppose these two were having sex -- how does it go? Okay, so they fight aliens? Where do they get their groceries? Filling in the corners. Furnishing the details.
A friend and I have been collecting novels and films about people entering book world or book world becoming real.
Cool! That's part of what I'm working on in my dissertation (on continued fictions and shared universes) actually; a sort of taxonomy that considers the relationship of the fictive world with the "real" one.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-23 01:00 pm (UTC)I'd love to hear more about your dissertation.