soul laryngitis
Aug. 1st, 2002 10:20 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fictionali've lost my voice.
it was not a good night.
i am shaken and confused and ashamed of myself.
not a happy mix.
actually it hasn't been a good couple of weeks. i don't know what's the matter with me. i feel caught up in this morass of tangled emotions that i have no idea how to unravel. last night was just a symptom of the disease.
i've lost my voice.
i don't know what i want, or what i don't want. or how to get what i need. i feel all alone, out in a lonely place that i don't know how to navigate.
the trouble is that i really thought better of myself. i thought i had this under control. i thought i knew how to stand up for myself. but no. and it's no one's fault but my own.
and now all i hear coming out of my throat is this never ending stream of apologies.
it was not a good night.
i am shaken and confused and ashamed of myself.
not a happy mix.
actually it hasn't been a good couple of weeks. i don't know what's the matter with me. i feel caught up in this morass of tangled emotions that i have no idea how to unravel. last night was just a symptom of the disease.
i've lost my voice.
i don't know what i want, or what i don't want. or how to get what i need. i feel all alone, out in a lonely place that i don't know how to navigate.
the trouble is that i really thought better of myself. i thought i had this under control. i thought i knew how to stand up for myself. but no. and it's no one's fault but my own.
and now all i hear coming out of my throat is this never ending stream of apologies.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2002-08-01 08:34 am (UTC)*hugs*
(no subject)
Date: 2002-08-02 11:20 am (UTC)People can have that effect on you. They can talk to you about things in a certain way so you start questioning yourself and can't say what you want to.
I think you just need to boil it all down to what you really feel. The reasons WHY you can't decide what you want. They may be your answer-and also clear things up for those other than yourself.
Uhms...I really want to talk to you.
I've been thinking about things A LOT. I may be able to offer some comfort?
It's worth a shot, at least :-)
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
-MG