Writing sex: a confession
Jan. 21st, 2009 01:26 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fictionalIt may come as a surprise to those of you who read IHNIIHBT, which is sort of a pornographic epic, but I greatly dislike writing sex.
No, really.
I hate it a lot. Which is funny because lately, we've been doing a lot of it.
Don't get me wrong. I love that our story is so filthy and x-rated. In fact, sometimes I even think it could stand to be filthier. I like reading sex. Oh man, do I. Porn, for me, is a primarily written-word driven thing, and it was that way long before I discovered fandom and its box of erotic delights. Think reading bodice-rippers and skimming my way through Tess of the D'Urbervilles at seven, desperately (and unsuccessfully, fuck you, Thomas Hardy) searching for the dirty bits...! Flipping through the Mists of Avalon for the threesome scene, etc. etc.
But writing it? A resounding "feh!"
For one thing, it's really hard [no pun intended]. Sex is repetitive. We have a finite number of moving parts, we have a finite number of slots for those parts to fit into. We tweak, we stroke, we push, we pull, we slap, we tickle; we get wet, we get hard. It feels great, except when it doesn't. And if you add in too many adverbs and adjectives -- you run the risk of sounding like a romance novel, a bad romance novel.
I don't know about you, but I have sex in my head. If my brain isn't getting off, I can spasm all I want, but I haven't come. It's no good to me without the brainfuck. There's an internal narrative always going on -- which mirrors to varying degrees what's actually happening in the physical, corporeal world. Sometimes, the degree is zero. Things I would never do "for real", things I would find actively offensive or disturbing if I weren't in bed, and believing that the things people imagine or play at in order to find pleasure are all perfectly okay.1
Thing is, when you're writing, the characters can't have internal narratives, unrelated to what's around them, because they're already in a narrative! Hell, they are the narrative. And of what interest to the reader -- who's using your story to furnish their own fantasy about say, Jack and Ianto -- is an internal, unrelated narrative that the character might possibly be having, if they were real? My feeling is, generally speaking, probably not much. Because that's like being OOC on purpose, and no one wants to see that, right?
So there's ways around it. Hence: dirty talk, d/s, drag, s & m, 3somes -- all games that are all about the stories you tell yourself. Narratives embraced and imposed.
But. I have to wonder, what are the fantasies of fantasies? What are the stories that stories whisper to themselves in the dark, or the ones they hold tightly to themselves, too ashamed even to say out loud?
Because that? That might be hot.
1That's what I tell myself anyway. Rationalizations: more important than sex. Think about it. Ever made it through a day without a rationalization? Yeah..
No, really.
I hate it a lot. Which is funny because lately, we've been doing a lot of it.
Don't get me wrong. I love that our story is so filthy and x-rated. In fact, sometimes I even think it could stand to be filthier. I like reading sex. Oh man, do I. Porn, for me, is a primarily written-word driven thing, and it was that way long before I discovered fandom and its box of erotic delights. Think reading bodice-rippers and skimming my way through Tess of the D'Urbervilles at seven, desperately (and unsuccessfully, fuck you, Thomas Hardy) searching for the dirty bits...! Flipping through the Mists of Avalon for the threesome scene, etc. etc.
But writing it? A resounding "feh!"
For one thing, it's really hard [no pun intended]. Sex is repetitive. We have a finite number of moving parts, we have a finite number of slots for those parts to fit into. We tweak, we stroke, we push, we pull, we slap, we tickle; we get wet, we get hard. It feels great, except when it doesn't. And if you add in too many adverbs and adjectives -- you run the risk of sounding like a romance novel, a bad romance novel.
I don't know about you, but I have sex in my head. If my brain isn't getting off, I can spasm all I want, but I haven't come. It's no good to me without the brainfuck. There's an internal narrative always going on -- which mirrors to varying degrees what's actually happening in the physical, corporeal world. Sometimes, the degree is zero. Things I would never do "for real", things I would find actively offensive or disturbing if I weren't in bed, and believing that the things people imagine or play at in order to find pleasure are all perfectly okay.1
Thing is, when you're writing, the characters can't have internal narratives, unrelated to what's around them, because they're already in a narrative! Hell, they are the narrative. And of what interest to the reader -- who's using your story to furnish their own fantasy about say, Jack and Ianto -- is an internal, unrelated narrative that the character might possibly be having, if they were real? My feeling is, generally speaking, probably not much. Because that's like being OOC on purpose, and no one wants to see that, right?
So there's ways around it. Hence: dirty talk, d/s, drag, s & m, 3somes -- all games that are all about the stories you tell yourself. Narratives embraced and imposed.
But. I have to wonder, what are the fantasies of fantasies? What are the stories that stories whisper to themselves in the dark, or the ones they hold tightly to themselves, too ashamed even to say out loud?
Because that? That might be hot.
1That's what I tell myself anyway. Rationalizations: more important than sex. Think about it. Ever made it through a day without a rationalization? Yeah..
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-21 06:25 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-21 06:29 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-21 06:36 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-21 06:38 pm (UTC)Ianto: Na, just wanted to be the master of time and space for a bit.
Jack: Oh, okay, cool. 'Cause I hate being pathetic.
Ianto: Really? News to me. Hello? Hand in a jar?
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-21 06:50 pm (UTC)Ianto: No. It just looks like one.
Jack: How much research did you do on this? I would have thought it would disturb you.
Ianto: I'm sorry, who's the one who has a fetish for immortals with god complexes? Oh yes, that would be me.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-21 06:51 pm (UTC)And I can't help but think the object in question is the thing that people on my friendslist keep linking to on Blowfish's site (hilarious in and of itself, that that's the name of the sex toy retailer of choice amongst most people I know) saying "hey, doesn't this look like a sonic screwdriver!"
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-21 06:54 pm (UTC)Dude, they sell toy sonic screwdrivers. I own one. I can personally vouch for the fact that it would just not be that hard to open one up and install a vibrator in it, if they're that hot for Doctor Who sex toys.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-21 06:57 pm (UTC)And yeah. Also true.
At Terminus, the HP con, we spent about half the time wandering Chicago looking for the right fucking watch batteries for Jill's sonicscrewdriver, and after she held it up while asking for batters in like the third RadioShack, I noted that folks probably thought she was waving around a Japanese vibrator.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-21 07:00 pm (UTC)I'm still tempted to build myself a sonic-screwdriver casing for the jumpdrive that I use to carry all my current work around with me. On the other hand it's already silver and lights up blue when I plug it in, so I can't get too greedy.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-21 07:00 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-21 07:02 pm (UTC)did you?
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Date: 2009-01-21 07:02 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2009-01-22 07:06 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-21 06:54 pm (UTC)Ianto: You're about to find out.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-21 06:55 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-21 06:34 pm (UTC)Although I can't help but think that Ianto, for all his ambiguity about the Doctor, must wonder what it's like to be that powerful -- the Doctor survived Canary Wharf too, the Doctor ended Canary Wharf, so in that sense dressing up as him could be very empowering.
Oh god, Jack dressing up as the Doctor and dressing Ianto up as himself...*brain shorts out in horror*
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-21 06:48 pm (UTC)Isn't this just business-as-usual Torchwood? I mean, remember that scene in at the end of DW s3, where Jack gets the Doctor his coffee and helps him on with his coat??
ON THE OTHER HAND, everything is better with costumes!!!
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-21 06:52 pm (UTC)Though I will say I have a weakness for Ianto dressed up in Jack's coat.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-21 07:03 pm (UTC)Ianto allowing himself to be dressed up as Jack is just tragic.
FOR EVERYONE. I mean. Jack doing to Jack!Ianto all the things he wants done to himself but can never have???
Incidentally, I'm vaguely reminded of all those interviews where Sophia Myles [Mme de Pompadour] claimed that she made Tennant dress up in the costume for her in bed.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-21 07:04 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-21 07:07 pm (UTC)And that? That makes it EVEN FUNNIER.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-21 07:07 pm (UTC)Although that does lead circuitously back to the idea of Jack being unable to tell contemporary lovers what he wants from them because they would run screaming.
I think I may actually have to write the Ianto Dresses Up As The Doctor fic. I've got an opening for it.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-21 07:08 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-21 07:10 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-21 07:29 pm (UTC)*rubs hands together in anticipation*
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