Writing sex: a confession

[fictional]

It may come as a surprise to those of you who read IHNIIHBT, which is sort of a pornographic epic, but I greatly dislike writing sex.

No, really.

I hate it a lot. Which is funny because lately, we've been doing a lot of it.

Don't get me wrong. I love that our story is so filthy and x-rated. In fact, sometimes I even think it could stand to be filthier. I like reading sex. Oh man, do I. Porn, for me, is a primarily written-word driven thing, and it was that way long before I discovered fandom and its box of erotic delights. Think reading bodice-rippers and skimming my way through Tess of the D'Urbervilles at seven, desperately (and unsuccessfully, fuck you, Thomas Hardy) searching for the dirty bits...! Flipping through the Mists of Avalon for the threesome scene, etc. etc.

But writing it? A resounding "feh!"

For one thing, it's really hard [no pun intended]. Sex is repetitive. We have a finite number of moving parts, we have a finite number of slots for those parts to fit into. We tweak, we stroke, we push, we pull, we slap, we tickle; we get wet, we get hard. It feels great, except when it doesn't. And if you add in too many adverbs and adjectives -- you run the risk of sounding like a romance novel, a bad romance novel.

I don't know about you, but I have sex in my head. If my brain isn't getting off, I can spasm all I want, but I haven't come. It's no good to me without the brainfuck. There's an internal narrative always going on -- which mirrors to varying degrees what's actually happening in the physical, corporeal world. Sometimes, the degree is zero. Things I would never do "for real", things I would find actively offensive or disturbing if I weren't in bed, and believing that the things people imagine or play at in order to find pleasure are all perfectly okay.¹

Thing is, when you're writing, the characters can't have internal narratives, unrelated to what's around them, because they're already in a narrative! Hell, they are the narrative. And of what interest to the reader -- who's using your story to furnish their own fantasy about say, Jack and Ianto -- is an internal, unrelated narrative that the character might possibly be having, if they were real? My feeling is, generally speaking, probably not much. Because that's like being OOC on purpose, and no one wants to see that, right?

So there's ways around it. Hence: dirty talk, d/s, drag, s & m, 3somes -- all games that are all about the stories you tell yourself. Narratives embraced and imposed.

But. I have to wonder, what are the fantasies of fantasies? What are the stories that stories whisper to themselves in the dark, or the ones they hold tightly to themselves, too ashamed even to say out loud?

Because that? That might be hot.


¹That's what I tell myself anyway. Rationalizations: more important than sex. Think about it. Ever made it through a day without a rationalization? Yeah..

Comments

[kahtyasofia.livejournal.com]

I'm of a completely different mindset. I think we're about to prove that writers themselves vary as greatly. I like to write sex. I like to think it up, I like to write it down. It's the emotion that stumps me every time. I run out of ways to express fear, insecurity, love, betrayal, depression, UST...you name it. Yes, we may be limited in the number of body parts and believable positions, but the variety comes in HOW you get to penetration, not penetration itself. That's just me, though.

*plays Devil's Advocate*

[loveslashangst.livejournal.com]

Two of the best sex scenes I ever wrote had characters that were fully clothed and remained so (or pretty well clothed). I have a thing for Chapters 6, so see also my FAITHFUL and DANCING LESSONS.

For me, the boring in sex scenes comes (*juvenile giggle*) in forgetting that they are SCENES first and SEX second. If the characters are exactly the same at the end of the scene as they were at the beginning, with no advancement of plot, no emotional development, no hints at backstory, a static POV who risks nothing of him/herself and, in short, no GROWTH (*another juvenile giggle*), I'll feel I've utterly failed. The sex will feel stilted. Rehearsed. Like a series of schemata or an over-rehearsed dance...

"You do this to me, two, three, four...
"I do this to you, two, three four..."

In rading others' work, that'll be the point at which my eyes glaze over and I flip to the next web page.

(Myself, I don't go on the hunt for smut, though my Beta Ophymirage is constantly cluing me in to the latest, greatest, and the classics. Were it not for her, I'd be a complete hermit, which is why I love her to death.)

The scenes that do it for me are the ones that give me just enough WANTING. It's that intent that makes my blood rush a little faster through all the right veins and arteries. I love the wooing. The wanting. The long looks. The first touches. The tentative overtures. Even the awkward moments that everyone has, where you WANT more than you feel you'll get to have, and both parties are fighting mutual desire.

Why d'you think Master/Ten can be Teh Hawtness?

I also qualify sex as being far more than penetration. Far more than who's "on top". Even more than who does or does not ejaculate (or reach orgasm in a bunch of other ways.) Sex is a form of communication. It's the wish to give and receive pleasure in all its many and multitudinous forms. And the character of the person who is giving, receiving, or (best of all possible worlds) sharing, to me will always steer HOW that person communicates.

As such, I have yet to exhaust all the possible configurations, emotions, attitudes, and -- yes -- positions that might yield up sexual pleasure for my characters.

For me, a sex scene needs to be more than, "Hey, I'd really like to do the horizontal mambo with you." For me, it's about what leads up to the mambo. What steps are in the mambo. And (too often neglected), what happens AFTER the mambo is over.

I go through several drafts of any chapter/story that I put up. Sex features prominently in most of them, because I write what I know and what I like to read.

I know that I'm on the right track if just thinking about the scene makes me need to go have some time in my bunk.

I know I've REALLY got something if Ophymirage has to stop beta-ing to go have some time in her bunk.

I take it as the sincerest compliment if my fen are too incoherent to give a decent review because they need to retreat to their bunks.

IN SUM: In my not-so-humble opinion, Sex should always assist plot and speak to character and relationship. But at the end of the day, if what I write didn't DO IT for me, I'd hang up my pen.

Re: *plays Devil's Advocate*

[kahtyasofia.livejournal.com]

I agree with you almost totally. Well, maybe even totally! I hadn't thought about it but you nailed two things...first, sex scenes are indeed scenes. If they don't further the story or character development, they are just gratuitous. Second, the fewer coherent comments I get, the better I know I did! It's equal parts frustrating and gratifying.

I think I owe the bad fic writers out there a debt of gratitude. By frustrating me and leaving me feeling bereft or even...excuse the pun, left hanging...it pushes me to do better than what's out there, both in my emotional payoffs and my sexual ones. For the most part, I think I get there. But I could be wrong.

Re: *plays Devil's Advocate*

[loveslashangst.livejournal.com]

*high-fives*

When I read a really PHENOMENAL fic, I'll look at it obsessively. Bookmark it. Reread. Refer back to it. But I'll also be severely intimidated.

The thinking is, "OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG I SUCK! There is NO WAY I could ever be that awesome!"

This is bad for my productivity.

When I read a really BAD fic, I roll my eyes and move on. It's the middling ones that get me.

The thinking is, "OMG that is the BEST idea! Wait, WHAT are you doing with it?"

Or, "OMG what an AWESOME scene! Wait, why didn't you develop this... or this... or that?"

Or, "OMG that is the BEST pairing/grouping evah! Wait, why is everyone acting OOC? You had such a great chance to work with the UST and characters as they existed."

THOSE are the ones that get me writing. The ones that, in one way or another, make me think, "Okay, that was cool, but what if instead of this we did..."

*hugs Kahtya* I would argue that your Janto is more in-character than mine, by and large because Canon!Jack pisses me off and makes me want to throw things at him. (You notice how much he gets tortured in my fics.) Your stories are more character-driven than mine, and more focused on emotional and character growth.

As for me, I freely admit I just use plot and character development as a thinly-disguised excuse for porn. ;)

Re: *plays Devil's Advocate*

[kahtyasofia.livejournal.com]

LOL! Yeah, I love to write smut but I feel the need to make in emotional smut so somewhere along the line, I got the reputation for being able to write very emotionally powerful dark-toned smut. I have a heck of a following that loves the stuff so I just keep banging it out!

About the only fic these days that has really knocked my socks off and made me put it in memories and read and re-read it is the stuff Kalichan & Rach have written. I use the back button a lot these days.

Hey, Jack is very painfully flawed. He's irreparably damaged but THAT'S what I love about him. He's a reformed bad boy who's heart is in the write place even though he fucks up constantly. He knows he fucks up, he just does the best he can.

Hey, I like it when Jack gets tortured but I can't deny being fascinated by that side of him that gets off on causing pain, no matter how deeply he pushes that side of himself down. I don't mind reading a little OOC if the change in character remains interesting. I WILL NOT read a feminized Ianto. Nope. No way. Or a Jack that weepingly tells Ianto he loves him. Nope. Won't do it.

Re: *plays Devil's Advocate*

[loveslashangst.livejournal.com]

*is mortally embarrassed*

Um. Er. How much would you kill me if I'd mistaken you for kalichan when I made that comment about character-driven?

*kicks self for having replied to too many things*

BUT!! I completely agree with you about Jack. He's broken, which is what makes him fun to play with. There is MUCH more to him than meets the eye. The key is to get beyond the Prince Charming smile and sexually-charged banter than are his armour and shield against a world that hasn't always been kind to him.

Feminized Ianto = MADE OF FAIL

But I'll fight you on the Jack telling Ianto he loves him. People can argue with me (I invite it), but I DO believe that Jack loves Ianto very much. More than is comfortable. More than he wants to admit. That's why he runs from it. Makes light of it. Tries to keep Ianto always a little off balance. He's compensating -- if Ianto is perpetually off balance, then maybe no one will notice how uneasy Jack is with the relationship and his own emotions.

Weeping, "OMGOMGOMGOMG I LOVESSSSSSSSSS you so much!"

No.

Fail. Lots and lots of Fail.

But if you can get Jack open enough. Comfortable enough. Uncomfortable enough. Afraid enough. Then maybe. Jack might run from it again later. Might deny it. Might try to make light of it. But it's THERE. And what makes him all the more miserable are two facts and I cannot escape about Jack:

1) Jack is not the marrying kind. He loves people. He cares about people. But he's always a bit less hazardous as the Friends With Benefits kind. This makes me INSANE, as I prefer the Happily Ever After ending and now have to write around this. (I just ignored it in DANCING LESSONS, arguing that Nine and Rose were the loves of his life and the only two who might be able to drag him to the altar.)

2) Jack is immortal. All relationships are temporary for him. For him to be tempted to make a long-term commitment, his partner would have to be TRULY extraordinary AND have some staying power. Some ability to survive. Ianto, IMNSHO, fits these requirements, but only if you ignore certain really stupid canon contradictions. Ianto's a sweet boy, but he has a will of iron when pushed.

I always keep in mind that Ianto is the only member of Torchwood 3 other than Jack who has actually shot a fellow coworker.

And the look on Owen's face? PRICELESS.

Anyway. I'm intrigued by the idea of SecretlyViolent!Jack. I have about 20-odd chapters left in FAITHFUL and that could be interesting.

And it's something John would know about Jack, and John is a VERY good Top.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Re: *plays Devil's Advocate*

[kahtyasofia.livejournal.com]

Oi! Keep your writers straight! Oh, Kalichan & Rach are the reining Empresses of character driving fan fic. Nobody better writing right now. Hands down. My stories are less epic and the character's stories are told much more through the sex than anything else. I know it and I'm perfectly happy with it.

key is to get beyond the Prince Charming smile and sexually-charged banter than are his armour and shield against a world that hasn't always been kind to him.

Yes, yes, yes, yes! Totally agree, 100%.

but I DO believe that Jack loves Ianto very much

Don't get me wrong, I completely believe Jack loves Ianto. He's head over heals for that boy. What I meant by my earlier comment was that because Jack and Ianto are blokes, they don't spend their time staring longingly into one another's eyes professing their undying love for each other. It's much more subtle and non-verbal than all that. But Jack very much loves Ianto, that's for sure.

As for Jack being the marrying kind...I think at his core, he would like to be. He comes from a strong family unit. Had his life gone another way, he would have liked to settle down. But, Jack's a live-in-the-moment kind of guy so he realizes that's not practical for him any longer, and probably hasn't been a good idea since he went off to war as a teenager. Jack realizes that because all relationships are temporary for him, marriage is out of the question. Also, it's not the least bit practical given the nature of TW.

I also agree that Jack is drawn to Ianto first because they are equally fucked up and damaged but also, Ianto is a survivor. A total will of iron, that boy has. Ianto also clearly sees how fucked up Jack is loves him because of it. Jack's drawn to him because Jack can just be Jack and not The Captain, all the time.

Which TW member did Jack shoot?

Yes, that side of Jack that used to torture did not go away. It just went on hiatus under the Doctor's influence. It's still there, though and it needs to come out and play once in while.

John may be a good Top, and he may be well acquainted with Dark!Jack but, as Jack said in Exit Wounds, he was the one in control of John. Jack may be the ONLY person John has submitted to, though.

Re: *plays Devil's Advocate*

[loveslashangst.livejournal.com]

Oi! Keep your writers straight!

*wilts and channels cleaner-shrimp from FINDING NEMO*

I am ashamed.

Anyway, I agree that K & R are Empresses of character-driven fic. They kick my ass.

Don't get me wrong, I completely believe Jack loves Ianto. He's head over heals for that boy. What I meant by my earlier comment was that because Jack and Ianto are blokes, they don't spend their time staring longingly into one another's eyes professing their undying love for each other.

GRIN! Absolutely. I wrote my first few stories mostly from Ten and Rose's POVs. The Doctor has much more Wibble and Emo than the average guy. For TW, it's been a challenge to me to write BLOKES. They're not better, not worse, and certainly not less emotional than my previous POV characters, just their ways of expressing emotions are different. The whole male dynamic is different, and my challenge has been to try to stay true to who my characters are while still challenging them and pursuing my plot.

As for Jack being the marrying kind...I think at his core, he would like to be.

YES. He would DEFINITELY like to be. He envies the stability. The surety. But at the same time, I think he, like John, would go stark raving BONKERS if he didn't have the promise of variety. Like most men of action, a living hell for Jack would be an eternity of Same.

Which is why I will NEVER forgive the canon writers for giving Jack 100 YEARS of servitude as a vassal of Torchwood. Talk about neutering a guy.

Worst mistake since someone put an anti-violence chip in Spike.

He comes from a strong family unit.

Which was utterly shattered by the loss of youngest son and father. What happened to Jack after that has always intrigued me. My version is a bit more tragic and angsty than most.

Also, it's not the least bit practical given the nature of TW.

*nodnodnodnodnod* TW is not exactly the kind of organization you join if you want to live a long life.

Jack's drawn to him because Jack can just be Jack and not The Captain, all the time.

And because, much as Ianto loves and respects Jack, he also is willing to lampoon him a little and bring him down to size. Ianto's acerbic wit is, IMNSHO, one of the things that Jack enjoys most. They tease each other mercilessly, and that's part of the thing that makes their relationship work. And because their relationship works, it sets the tone for the rest of the crew.

Which TW member did Jack shoot?

Suzie, IIRC. He shoots her so she won't kill Gwen in the first episode. That's how Gwen gets onto the team, TW3 being a one-in-one-out organization.

John may be a good Top, and he may be well acquainted with Dark!Jack but, as Jack said in Exit Wounds, he was the one in control of John. Jack may be the ONLY person John has submitted to, though.

I think that Jack is grandstanding when he said he's the only one who could "control" John. John is clearly smarter than him. More ruthless than him. A better liar than him. I think Jack has a seriously edited the nature of their relationship, in part for the same reason he won't admit publicly that he loves Ianto -- if he makes light and less of it and pretends HE is in control, maybe he can escape his own emotions about it. He loves John, more passionately than perhaps anyone but Nine, but John is messy, unpredictable, and often ill-considered in his decisions. He's a liability, and -- as Jack tells Ianto -- a reminder of what Jack was. He's gotten so complacent in his new life and new authority that John scares the shit out of him, in part because John can be VERY seductive, and Jack does miss the life he's left behind, so many years ago.

That's why I'm writing what I'm writing -- the canon authors seem hell-bent on ignoring these deeper issues with Jack. I understand this, because Jack IS fun to write when he's charming and flirtatious. But I still call them cowards not to confront this bizarre thing they've created in Immortal!Jack. He has Issues no one else will.

And as of yet, he has no kryptonite, which, IMNSHO, is a cop-out.

Re: *plays Devil's Advocate*

[kalichan.livejournal.com]

I agree, really. And yes, of course, 10/Master is teh hot.

I guess what I was trying to say was two fold:

1) what I write can do it for me, and often does. But only after it's written. Not in coming up with the idea of it, and not in the act of writing. Only when it's complete, will I enjoy it. In terms of sex, I seem to be an auditor, and not a creator. I was trying to figure out why that is in writing. What I came up with:

2) I think of sex as almost wholly an exercise of fantasy, and how can characters have fantasies that are too fucked up in comparison to what they're doing, when they're supposed to be the fantasies themselves?

Re: *plays Devil's Advocate*

[rm.livejournal.com]

how can characters have fantasies that are too fucked up in comparison to what they're doing, when they're supposed to be the fantasies themselves?

The same way we do as actual people. You do realize how utterly *shocking* or weird or edgy or "for real, real people do that" a lot of people would find a lot of the things both you and I have done?

Re: *plays Devil's Advocate*

[kalichan.livejournal.com]

Right, but is it fair, in a story to have Ianto doing something *really fucked up and edgy* to Jack, say strangling him -- and the narrative in his head is about something even more fucked up that that? Or unrelated to it, like I don't know, pretending he's Darth Vader (who also likes to strangle people). Is that what people are looking for??? I don't think so. Not to say it couldn't be done once or twice. But as a general rule?

Re: *plays Devil's Advocate*

[rm.livejournal.com]

1. What's more fucked up and edgy than snuff? I mean, I suppose if Jack could actually _stay dead_, but seriously, there's got to be a wall somewhere.

2. Darth Vader -- I just... I got nothing. But it goes back to my tentacle remark to Sam -- how do you write that so it's not HILARIOUS?

3. If we wrote what people were looking for, would we be writing IHNIIHBT? Maybe. But the backstory with Nine? Probably not.

4. People often don't know what they are looking for until they find it. *cue romance music*

5. Fuck 'em.

Re: *plays Devil's Advocate*

[kalichan.livejournal.com]

1. Right? Yeah. That's what I'm saying. It's already so extreme and fantastical, I don't know how to add a secondary layer. (hence, what fantasies do fantasies have?)

2. YES. The hilarity is a problem. How do you go there in all seriousness? But remember the boots??? Real people do it. (I mean, not to say that wasn't hilarious, but you know what I mean.)

3. Ultimately, it's about what the characters do, not what the readers want. But still. How to convey appropriately. *g*

*chimes in*

[ophymirage.livejournal.com]

I find, having now tried to write a couple of scenes semi-succesfully, and having read a LOT, that my tastes when I'm writing and when I'm reading are really different.

Writing: I found the sex easy and hot to envision, the tab A/slot B part of it, and had fun plotting the lead-up, the schematics and mechanics, and coming up with descriptors. (I like doing this for LSA's fics, too.) Figuring out the emotion and the "where is this going?" was WAY more difficult! it made shoving the two together into a working plot a really rewarding challenge, though.

Reading: Like Kalichan above, I'm often about the brainfuck - if I can't get into the characters' heads with empathy, feeling what they're feeling emotionally and projecting that into, well, self-indulgence, I'm less likely to get off. However, there are times when all I really want is tab A/slot B, like RIGHT NOW, and good descriptors are more than enough to set me off. It actually seems to go about 50/50.

This may have to do with the fact that some of my earliest readings on the subject were sex manuals (Joy of, Everything You Wanted to Know) and the Beauty series. OH, and Nana, by Emile Zola. Slightly more productive than Hardy for naughty bits, but not by much..

Re: *chimes in*

[kalichan.livejournal.com]

*grins* Oh, the Beauty series.

For me, it was also the Nancy Friday books on sexual fantasies... which now that I think about it explains a lot.

Re: *chimes in*

[loveslashangst.livejournal.com]

Jean M Auel.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm paleolithic smut.

Also, Mercedes Lackey's HERALDS OF VALDEMAR and especially the VANYEL series were informative to me on how to write really good non-straight characters. They were the first I'd seen. (I was about 10 when I entered the fandom.)

I read Charlaine Harris' first SOUTHERN VAMPIRE books, for fun as well as for profit. (Though she should never have let Erik have his memories back. He was cuter amnesiac.)

I read Laurell K Hamilton because... well, you have to. And also as a warning that THOU SHALT NOT IGNORE THY BETA lest thou wish to have bizarre, fetishy poly scenes with vampire boys with ankle-length hair and weird-color eyes.

But more than anything, I owe fandom a debt of gratitude, because here I get to write (and read) what I REALLY want.

Re: *chimes in*

[ophymirage.livejournal.com]

THOU SHALT NOT IGNORE THY BETA lest thou wish to have bizarre, fetishy poly scenes with vampire boys with ankle-length hair and weird-color eyes.

Amen.

Seriously, I ROFL'ed when you told me about the vampy boys. I mean, come on, I was writing characters like that when I was 11, for D&D. Okay, they were elves rather than vampires, but really. :D

[kalichan.livejournal.com]

Well, yes. Writers are all different, and I, in no way, felt that I was making a blanket statement for all writers. At all. I can even tell from reading your stuff, that you're someone who profoundly enjoys writing the sex bits. Which is great. For me it's just difficult. And while I do top on occasion, I far prefer not to, because I react much better than I come up with stuff; even in "real life" I'm a reader, and not a writer. My partner (who incidentally writes phenomenal porn, though not fanfic) is really great at coming up with ideas; I just sort of lazily lay back and audit. And while, with other people, things have been different, it's always been much harder for me to be the propelling, new idea force. Conceivably I'm just (sexually) lazy. *g*

[kahtyasofia.livejournal.com]

Never for a moment did I think your statement was blanket! I'm just interested in how those of us that do pretty much the same thing (write smutty fic) go about it so differently.

Sexually lazy! That's sort of funny! I hadn't thought of it that way but there is a commonly held idea that bottoms are really the ones in control because the entire scene is dictated by their limits and their desires.

It intrigues me how there are so many ways to get from a to b and must of us take a different route yet end up at the same place (finished story). It's also fun to enter into an intelligent discourse with people who have something worthwhile and thoughtful to say on the subject!

[kalichan.livejournal.com]

there is a commonly held idea that bottoms are really the ones in control because the entire scene is dictated by their limits and their desires.

It is certainly the view ascribed to in my household! *g* Which is funny because on some level, this approach calls for a certain amount of psychic-ness on the part of the top. They have to try and gauge what it is that will work for the bottom, wile pretending it's "all about them" or whatever.

It intrigues me how there are so many ways to get from a to b and must of us take a different route yet end up at the same place (finished story). It's also fun to enter into an intelligent discourse with people who have something worthwhile and thoughtful to say on the subject!

Word. It is so cool to try and dissect all this stuff. I find it very fascinating.

[kahtyasofia.livejournal.com]

The fact that Tops must be 'psychic' is why communication is so vital.

I like dissecting this stuff and expressing differing views without ever feeling like someone is going to tell me my view is WRONG.

[rm.livejournal.com]

While the idea that bottoms in a BDSM context are in charge has some logic to it, I view it, to a given extent as a necessary fiction of the activity. If we do not say the bottoms are in charge, how can we say we are safe, sane and consensual or, at the very least, how can we all agree on what safe, sane and consensual is.

To my mind, BDSM has a lot of polite fictions, not all of them useful, especially in fiction.

I would argue that a bottom, while potentially in control of the activities engaged in or their intensity, is not and often should not be in control of the narrative that drives them. Conversely, sure, sometimes a bottom with come up with a bit of dirty talk about what's going on in their head and that can be a push towards a certain script, but as someone who has a lot of experience with both roles -- if I give up control, I want to have an out, sure, but I don't want to get exactly what I think I want -- what the fuck is the point of that? And if I'm topping, pushy subs really aren't all that cute most of the time, and while their narrative may be interesting and informative to me, I'm not a big fan of succumbing to it in the moment.

Of course, I also worked as a pro for a while, and there's few things more aggravating than a pushy sub who's demanding good customer service while you're trying to whip him into the next time zone.

[kahtyasofia.livejournal.com]

Now, see...I've never worked as a pro. Amateur only, here. In my experience, which is really the only thing I can speak from, there has usually been some give and take in who's 'in charge' of the narrative and the intensity. With me there tends to be an emotional component, too, though. If I care for someone I only really want to hurt them as much as they want to be hurt.

I've never liked a pushy sub, either. I preferred to get the details of what they were looking for before hand, then go for it. Stop trying to direct me! If you failed to tell me what you needed before hand, remember it for next time or suffer the consequences (by which I mean a lack of satisfaction!).

Do I really believe bottoms are in charge? Or as you say, is that a polite fiction? I think it's a polite fiction. As I first said, there is a belief that bottoms are in charge. I strongly believe that they need to have the ultimate out in the event of panic, or we are not safe, sane and consensual. I like to play around with shifting power dynamics in my fiction but when it comes to the sex, the shifting dynamics in those scenes are usually a stand in for something larger going on.

Or I'm deluding myself, which is possible, too.

[loveslashangst.livejournal.com]

Amateur only here too, mostly because my one pro gig didn't work out so well.

I think that in a really GOOD Top/Bottom Dom/Sub relationship, there's more than a little give and take. The whole point of getting to Sub for someone is to abandon control. To get lost in the moment. To trust that the Top will take you farther than you could go on your own, but not so far as to do damage. I think that's why so many people in positions of high stress and responsibility will tend to go Sub in their personal lives. For once they don't have to choose.

This is also why I have a fetish for Dom!Ianto, who I think has all the potential of being the unlikeliest (and therefore hottest) Top. But I also think it's something he'd have to learn. And he'd have to trust pretty thoroughly whoever taught him, because there are few things more off-putting to someone like Ianto than being awkward, tolerated, or the victim of public ridicule.

This is why Owen!Ianto slash is either painfully bad or so smoking hawt it makes my screen melt.

I also agree that sex SHOULD be a mirror of the larger questions in a fic/relationship. People are never more themselves than when they have their clothes off. (And disrobing is such a useful literal metaphor in and of itself.) Sex can provide the lubrication (*another inappropriate giggle*) in the story and the character arcs, allowing these fictional people to move in directions they hadn't expected, and get them out of their complacency and daily canon routine.

This is why my personal pet peeve in Janto is "And then John comes in, is a violent rapist bastard, and Jack saves the day." Or "Ianto is so sweet and no one notices or appreciates him but Jack, who sexes him up and makes him feel better." Or (most pernicious of all) "And then Jack and Ianto have sex 'cause it's canon."

*eyeroll*

*yawn*

I go back to my diatribe, which holds true for my for-hire work too:

Tell me a STORY!

(*freely admits to Devil's Advocating*)

[kahtyasofia.livejournal.com]

I love Dom!Ianto. I do hot hold with weak or victim! Ianto. Jack is not a bully. There's more give and take and power shifting in that relationship than a lot of people give either of them credit for. I like situationally Dom!Ianto. Sometimes, it's right for my story for him to be in control. Other times, it's right for Jack to be. Nor, does Ianto always need to be saved by Jack. In fact, I've written an entire story where Ianto saved Jack's arse.

Anybody who writes either of these two like women isn't watching the same show I am.